You might have heard people say that Filipinas are jealous, more than American women. That is likely true, because a Filipina isn’t comfortable with the man in her life making small talk with a stranger who happens to be a woman. At first this might seem like an unnecessary irritation, but the more I think about it, the more I think it is a good thing. This is a 4M rated channel-for Mature Marriage Minded Men.
Please subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea for help in a variety of ways for foreign men to have a good relationship, hopefully a great relationship, with a Filipina. You can get the latest video notifications by clicking a button and share them to someone else you know who might be interested. Please comment if something here catches your eye, no pun intended. After formulating my thoughts, I realized this applied best to the man who can spend time in the presence of his Filipina, so if you don’t have a Filipina in your life, these four points are something to remember as you consider being married to a Filipina.
Looking-The Filipina in your life can not know what is going on in your mind, but it is very important you train yourself to not dwell on other women, other beautiful Filipinas. If you are in the Philippines, you will find very attractive Filipinas all over the place and even if your Filipina girlfriend or wife is not present, it is important to be able to look away. Have you heard of the 3-second rule?
You can’t help notice sensational women out in the world, it wouldn’t be natural or even healthy to look away immediately. To be practical, admire her looks and leave it at that. I don’t know about you, but for me I can remember what someone looked like forty years ago and I only saw them for a few seconds. You don’t need to walk around with a blindfold on, as if you could, or be led by the hand by someone else, just don’t dwell on it. The longer you look, the more likely you will lust.
I know some people say “what does it hurt to look?”, and I won’t spend much time on that but will say this-If you are going to commit to a Filipina or already have, if she isn’t aware that you are completely into her, she will eventually sense that you are not fully ready to commit to her, and then you will have to explain to her one day why you were staring at someone else.
It is only natural to notice of course, the key is to keep it very short. You know why you’re looking, but she won’t quite understand. She wants to be the only one you have eyes for. She will feel your relationship is secure if she doesn’t notice you being “interested” in another woman. Here are some other ways she notices.
Flirting-I never was a flirt but I can see where it would be hard to stop flirting after you find someone and are establishing a relationship with them. Having a relationship gives you confidence, but that needs to be invested in the woman you are with. When your Filipina notices her man flirting with someone, she doesn’t trust him in that moment. She needs to hear you tell her that of course you are still attracted to other women, especially Filipinas, but you are with the one you need and love and they are your priority.
I like the idea of marrying a Filipina and then spending the rest of my life focusing on her. That has helped immensely with not eyeballing other women. How would you feel if you saw your woman giving some guy a look up and down? Like she wasn’t as into you as you thought.
I suggest not doing anything you wouldn’t do if she was with you. The more disciplined you get with this, the easier it will be to do. Remember that actually having someone is way better than just ogling women. That’s what adolescents do. There are a lot of ways to innocently use body language to show someone you find them attractive or are interested in them, and touch is one of them.
Touching-We probably all know people who are “touchy-feely” and it often is with the same sex, and the gestures are not sexual. From a Filipina’s perspective, she might not be comfortable if she saw her man shake a Filipina’s hand, innocently pat her on the shoulder to congratulate her, or even hug her. Looking, flirting, and touching are three things that will need to be monitored carefully when involved with a Filipina.
Talking-Here in America making small talk is no big deal but just recently a Filipina told me she was surprised by how friendly people are here in Nebraska, but what she meant was how talkative we are with people we don’t even know. We might go to the 7-11 to get gas, a water bottle or something else, and have a short chit-chat with the person at the cash register.
Some of them might actively look for people to have little conversations with if things are slow. I don’t like it when I am standing in line listening to the worker and the customer talking like old friends. A little is ok but you know... I think a Filipina would prefer her man just pay for his things and leave. This may be a cultural thing, I am not sure, but I have heard it enough to know it is not what a Filipina is used to.
Your Filipina might not have a lot to say and be fairly quiet but I have learned in being married for six years that if I bring something up later that she didn’t answer initially, she can give me a little more information. If she is quiet and doesn’t talk a lot this could make a foreigner feel like he needs to chat-chat with anyone else but really that should be limited to family and friends, not strangers, especially women.
We used to work at the same company so if my wife saw me talking to someone it would be restricted to the break table and there is more leniency with that because she understands the context and trusts me. If it is somewhere else and my wife was at my side, I would simply try to be polite in what I say. Early on you may be under a little more scrutiny than later by your Filipina, as she thinks about how much she can trust you.
I would not suggest taking her to your high school reunion. Former girlfriends? It’s hard for me to know for sure because it had been a long time since I had one before I married my Filipina, but it seems like there would be no point in hanging around those women from your past or be places you know they might be. If your Filipina is bothered by you being around other women that she knows you already have had a relationship with, I would suspect she wouldn’t want that.
You are better off if you can convince your Filipina that you only have eyes for your love beyond the sea.