How would I determine she loves her family more than me?-That statement includes that she loves her husband. Of course, she loves her family, and of course she loves her husband. Is it because the Filipina wife seems determined to help her family in a sacrificial way?
Is it because she spends a lot of time sometimes chatting with her family? What is the basis of believing she loves her family more than her western husband?
A different kind of love-Her love for her family is expressed differently-From the descriptions I gave a minute ago, #2 stands out to me as very significant. Philia love (affectionate love) accounts for the type of love that you feel for parents, siblings, family members, and close friends. This type of love is linked with loyalty, companionship, and trust. Philia love is shared amongst those who have similar values and experiences.
We all applaud a Filipina for her strong bond with her family, and that’s one of the features that attracts a man to a Filipina. I hope no one is asking her to lessen that love, that strong bond with her parents and siblings and other relatives. If I took that view, then I would feel like I am on the outside looking in. I don’t feel unloved or lesser loved by the fact I know my wife has such a strong love for her family, a Philia love.
Embrace her family-The Filipina isn’t likely cognizant of having a greater affection for her family, she is doing what comes naturally and perhaps to some extent culturally. Since I love my wife, I love what she loves. As time has gone by in our four + year marriage, I have become more attached to her family, and it has been a good thing for us. My wife appreciates that I want to help with special occasions and sometimes with urgent necessities, and other times I just want to bless them. A Filipina can love both you and her family-I don’t get concerned about whether or not she will love her family more than me.
To be honest with you, I think it is remarkable how a woman can be a great wife while not diminishing her love for her family. Remember, the fact she loves her family is the reason my wife flew 9800 miles one day to settle down with me and be my wife. I don’t feel like I am sharing her with her family in the Philippines. She didn’t have to marry a man so far away from her family. She chose to after I proposed to her that I needed a wife and I wanted it to be her. Before I married her, I told her three main needs that I had, and she has met those needs, she is continuing to meet those needs.
She strives to meet the needs of her family back home, while at the same time, wonderfully being the kind of wife that I have always wanted, and it’s even better than I thought it would be. I say “more power to her loving her family” because it doesn’t interfere with her love for me. Her family has always been in her life-My wife had known her family for 26 years before she even knew I was alive. We just discovered each other on March 17, 2015. As an older daughter, my wife has had a lot of responsibility to provide for her family and does so beautifully. I didn’t marry her to reduce her love for her family or to compete for her affection-While the Bible says that children leave parents to be joined to their spouse, I believe this is mainly concerned with coming out from under the authority of her parents and being under the loving authority of her husband. It doesn’t mean a surrender of familial love.
I hope my wife loves God more than she loves me-If you want to talk coming in second place, my wife and I have said that God comes before each of us, that we love God more than anything or anyone else. Because of this, we all have to come after God in priority. For myself, it is God-Aiza-Us-Me. I get to have the lowest priority but that doesn’t prevent me from having a fulfilling marriage. I think my wife knows that I will choose God before her because I have to love him more than anyone else, I have to be more devoted to him than anyone else. However, this love allows for and calls for the love of others.
It is not all or nothing, which is the same with a Filipina’s love for her family-she can still love her husband. Once a man is secure with his wife’s strong affection for her family, he is able to do this next thing
Our love will grow- My Filipina wife doesn’t love her family more than she loves me. She loves us both in the appropriate ways of each. Don’t let anyone make you afraid to seek a Filipina on account of family affection.
That hasn’t been a problem for many of us who have found Love Beyond the Sea!