Believe the Best of Your Filipina Wife
How good are you at convincing your Filipina wife that you are going to be with her forever; be her forever man? Subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea where I can help you to see the value in a Filipina wife, how to be good to her, and how to have a successful marriage to her. I have been working through this myself for over six years now, and am always eager to share what I learn. I’d appreciate you sharing these videos to help other men discover this channel. Your comments are wanted too. I want to make marriage great again, and that includes yours, which is why this is higher Fil-West education.
“How to communicate with your Filipina wife” is a live stream I will link for you and this topic is a viewer request.
My wife needs to know that she doesn’t have to be perfect for me. “Close enough to perfect for me” is a video I will link for you. I don’t want to dwell on her faults, I want to major in her positives. I want her to know I look forward to coming home to her and that I want us to be together as much as possible.
Your Filipina needs to know you support her 100 % and are there for her all the time, no matter what, for the rest of your life. She understands she isn’t perfect and friction is inevitable. She knows she will need her husband’s forgiveness. You need it to. There has to be a confidence that the two of you are in it for the long haul, come what may. But this doesn’t happen naturally, it takes effort.
I have many pet names for my Amazing Aiza. I call her my endless love to let her know I am fully into our relationship. I tell her we will be together in heaven, and my death will just cause a suspension in our relationship as we know it. I have a video I will link for you called “Will I know my late Filipina wife in heaven?”
One way I can show her and we can show each other, that we are in it for the long-term is by how quickly we make up after an argument. If I sulk and try to drag it out or do something to make her feel bad, I am saying by that behavior that I would rather fight than make peace.
Another way is by helping her family myself. A good Filipina doesn’t marry someone only to expect him to support her family, she doesn’t want to burden him, but she does appreciate his help. Any way I can, I want to show her that I am in it for life; that’s what husbands do.
I want her to know I believe she is worth giving up my life for. I have talked about commitment with her, what it means to me. Some of you may disagree with me, but I have told her that there is nothing she can do that would make me give up on her, and that she will always have my forgiveness. Some might think that is setting myself up for disaster, setting the stage for her to take advantage of me then leave me…yeah, women just can’t wait to get away from a man like that right?
What I am trying to accomplish is for her to have confidence that when she screws up, our relationship is safe, and my love for her is unchanged. That’s the way God loves me and that’s how I am to love my wife. I don’t say that to her to tempt her, I don’t say that to her haphazardly. I say that to her so she can remember me telling her that I will never leave her, nor forsake her, because that’s what God tells me. If you believe in a safety net for marriage, you will likely use it, so put your time and energy into making it the best it can, and it won’t be perfect regardless.
This attitude paves the way for the topic of this video, which is about believing the best of your Filipina.
By trusting her-Here I am referring to being supportive of her, by showing some confidence and faith in her. When you bring a Filipina to your country, you probably don’t know enough about her to have formed a lot of trust. We got married in only 54 days. Yes, trust is earned, but by the same token, she can’t earn it without being in situations where she can show herself trustworthy. Allowing her to be in such situations shows her you are willing to trust her and give her the benefit of the doubt.
For example, I had to trust my wife to be able to learn to drive. She hadn’t driven in the Philippines so I bought her twelve weeks of lessons while she was there. After she immigrated here, I paid for six weeks of lecture and six weeks of driving with an instructor, in addition to going out to drive with her myself. Naturally there were some moments early on where tensions were a little high but that is to be expected. Today my wife is an excellent driver. You can see for yourself in the video I will link called “My Filipina’s drive to succeed.”
I trusted her with decorating the basement we live in which had been unoccupied and without furniture. She picked the paint and we both had input in the furniture although she is the one who decided how it all gets laid out. She bought curtains and I gave her my opinion about what kind not to buy, I didn’t want to get in the way, I wanted her to build her nest the way she wanted to.
I trust her with her checking account and her debit and credit card, as well as wiring money to the Philippines. Since I handle the money as far as maintaining the balances on all of our accounts, I get to see everything that happens. I gave her the opportunity to have this job but she wasn’t interested. I am sure that she appreciated that I offered it to her because it showed I was willing to put some trust in her.
I need to trust her when she is at work, being exposed to potential threats from other men and women telling her she is making a mistake. I simply, oh there’s that word again, simp (which I am not), you simply must trust her and show confidence in her. Unless you married a woman with no skills, talents, faculties or abilities, she is not going to appreciate you thinking she can’t get anything done.
By not giving up on her –Here I am referring to not making comments that can demoralize her, make her feel insignificant, like she is incompetent, or that you don’t believe in her. This would sound like “you are no good at…”, I shouldn’t have trusted you with…”, You haven’t improved…”, “you’ll never be able to…”, “we don’t do it that way here…”, “if you do…I will leave you”, “that’s too difficult for you”, “I wish you were more like…”, “Here in America we…”, “your family is not my concern” and so on. Any words that communicate to her that you don’t see potential, that she isn’t quite good enough, that you don’t trust her will be very difficult to make up for down the road. You also won’t be getting any either.
My wife will be having her citizenship interview soon. I help her regularly to prepare for that. She is going back to school (while continuing to work full-time), and is considering her future job opportunities. I will help her with schooling, support her, encourage her, pray for her, celebrate successes. I must allow her to “fail” so that she can get the most out of life, and there are always risks. I must support her if she falls. She can’t feel safe with me if I don’t give her my full support.
It's better to tell her you like her the way she is, that she doesn’t have to be perfect, you believe in her, you are her biggest fan, that you are proud of her.
When we married, I told her she was the apple of my eye, and I meant it. For better or worse, ‘til death do us part, I am invested in my love beyond the sea.