Generation Gap and The Younger Wife: Part 2

by Bob

I am not very capable with technological things and it can frustrate me to no end, especially wanting to have a YouTube channel. Does this bother my Filipina wife? No. It didn’t bother her when we were dating. She fills this gap in my life since technology is so important today. It could be that she gets frustrated, I don’t know if she does, but she handles all our tech issues and I compliment her always on how much I appreciate and need this from her. She doesn’t look down on me and I don’t feel envious of her, our marriage needs this skill of hers. Hopefully your Filipina doesn’t think you are a dummy! Tell her you value her time but not put limits on cell phone use, it is better to let her decide that.

If I like Bing Crosby and my Filipina likes Bruno Mars or Eminem what would the solution be? It would be for us to evaluate if that poses a problem before marrying. It shouldn’t be an issue in dating. If the difference in musical tastes is bothersome, I think it would be good to remind ourselves why we are attracted to each other in the first place and how she can be a good wife. There are people my age that like music that would get you arrested in the Philippines. If you like to blast AC/DC and she likes Morrisette Amon playing in the house, that could be interesting. Musical taste has not been a problem for my wife and I because we discovered early on that we liked the same kind of music, some of the same artists like Billy Joel and The Carpenters, and others. When she first wrote that she liked the Bee Gees, I honestly wondered how that could be true since the Bee Gees were huge in my high school years, perhaps even junior high.

She knew the lyrics to my surprise and when I met her in the Philippines, I heard a lot of music from the 70’s. Dancing-Similar to music, if he really likes to dance then unless she obliges him now and then, that won’t be something they can share, so that is something to know ahead of time if this is very important to the man. I listed this as it relates somewhat to musical taste. Different tastes could be annoying but hopefully no more than that. Some older men maybe like ballroom dancing or country western dancing but this might be something a younger Filipina has never heard of. Taste in television entertainment-I’d like to think an older man would not be spending much time watching television shows apart from the news.

On the flip-side I wouldn’t expect a Filipina to spend much time at all watching the news and definitely would want to watch television shows and even go to movies. I’ve seen the shows in the Philippines and I know what my wife likes to watch and I like them too. He may have to watch her shows with her and that would be a good way for him to learn more about her, and find out what she likes about the shows. I am fine watching a love story with my wife, I like those and we both like watching mysteries. I watch more television now than when I was single, but I didn’t have a date to watch them with.

This could get interesting. I didn’t exactly dress in rags, but my Filipina wife had her idea of what she wanted me to look like. At first this isn’t so endearing, but eventually I learned not to fight it, because it would do no good and it pleased my wife to dress me in a way that she was proud of. She wants me to look the best I can, that’s what she wants. She likes doing that. I don’t look at it like she is trying to control me and neither should you. She has a good eye. If I were to insist on not changing my appearance in this way, she would take that as not being interested in what she thinks is doing me a favor.

If the younger generation has a poorer attitude, this should be measured before getting married. This would be a deal breaker for me. If you characterize younger people today a certain way that is not complimentary, don’t forget that the younger Filipina might have some of these characteristics.

However, I sense that there are many Filipinas who have good attitudes and are respectful of elders. Changing her attitude would require a lot of effort and patience. Food choices-This would bother me if there would be a big difference in how we ate, for instance if one ate healthy and the other didn’t. If you meet her in person and spend some time with her you will get an idea of this, but that is not a guarantee about how she will eat in a new country. A junk food junkie is not going to easily change their eating habits so this is not a small thing to account for, in my opinion.

Pop seems to be abundant in the Philippines and I have tried my best to educate my wife about soda pop and sugar for that matter.