Why would you ever let somebody you love go?-DR. PHILippines

by Bob

 
“If you love someone, let them go”. Why would you ever let somebody you love go? This is a good question because it seems natural that you would want to keep someone you love for yourself, so where does this apparently contradicting statement come from? Subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea and Dr. PHILippines will answer some questions about love and relationships that he hopes you can learn something from. Please share the videos, leave comments and get notifications for upcoming videos.

I think this statement comes from the sentiment that someone has strong feelings for someone-they feel like they love someone-however the person they are passionate about is not as interested in them. The one in love spends time and energy focusing on the other person who is not going to reciprocate their love. Maybe the one not returning the love really should, but for whatever reason just can’t see that they are missing out on something good in their life.

It can go both ways. A man loves a woman who doesn’t feel that way about him or a woman is in love with a guy who just sees her as another woman. They might ask themselves “Why doesn’t this person see how much I care about them? Why can’t they tell that I am the best person for them? I want to say three things about this.

1 The key word is “let”, let them go, if you love someone, let them go. That’s because you don’t own them, and there aren’t mutual feelings for each other. You can’t keep or hold on to something that isn’t yours, so let them go means to release them from your thoughts, unburden yourself from the fantasy that they feel the same way about you that you do about them. You might want to be together with someone and you just know you can be so good for them, but they just aren’t as into a relationship as you are. Have you ever been in a situation like this?

2 You owe it to yourself to free yourself from a one-way relationship and exposing yourself to someone who might actually feel the same way about you. Then you are free to pursue another relationship. Letting them go is for your own good. Only the other person knows what they really need, and they might be confused about that. While they are trying to figure that out, they might be staying connected to you until it all becomes clearer. Hopefully they are not using you as a placeholder until someone better comes along.

I can relate in two separate incidences. Twice I had feelings for women who I thought deserved better than the deadbeats they were dating. They just couldn’t see they were getting used. But you know what? That’s their business. I can’t read their minds. Sometimes the only one that can’t see it is that very person. This makes it very frustrating when you’re looking for a relationship with someone who is getting taken advantage of it and either doesn’t recognize it or care.

In these two incidences, I was “holding on” to someone who I had allowed to have a hold on me, and it prevented me from moving on to something more productive. In their minds, they were “holding on” to someone else in hopes these men would eventually love them for real.

The answer to this question “If you love someone, let them go. Why would you ever let somebody you love go?” is because if it is meant to be, it will be, if it isn’t then it won’t. By letting them go they can now more readily find out if they had a good thing going or not. If the person you loved comes back to you, ready for a stronger relationship, that’s great. Or, you will learn that they are never going to be as interested as you are, and you have just saved yourself more anguish and can focus your efforts on someone who will.

It’s also said that sometimes the best decisions are the ones you don’t make. I choose to see my life as being better not striving too hard to be in those two relationships. I wanted something to work out but in both cases another guy was involved. Even if there weren’t, you can’t make someone want to be in love with you. You can treat them well but ultimately it takes two to tango. I was able to find the love of my life by continuing to look elsewhere when one door closed, looking for an open door, and finally found it when I met my wife on Christian Filipina.

3 The final thing I want to add is that in the most ultimate sense, when you love someone, you always want what is best for them. Love is unselfish. Hypothetically, if I really liked someone and I believed that someone else would make them a better spouse, it would be selfish of me to conceal that, in order for me to get this woman, if I hypothetically knew someone else was just what they needed. So, in that way, letting them go is so they can be happy with the right person. If they weren’t the right fit for me, then letting them go also allows me to be able to look for someone who would be a better match for myself.

Sometimes, people get hooked up with the wrong person, and pay the price but they have to experience it themselves and learn the hard way. Perhaps they will go back to the one that truly cared about them, maybe they won’t. Another statement is “Don’t marry someone you can live with; marry someone you can’t live without.” While that’s true, they have to feel the same way.