Bragging Doesn't Impress Your Filipinaby Bobpublished on
Boasting is related to being selfish; talking about oneself. Is anyone impressed when they hear someone brag about themselves? The Bible says to let another man praise thee, and not thine own lips. If my wife compliments me on something, that is better than me reminding her of something I’ve done.
I want my wife to hear many compliments from me about her, and for her to compliment me when I have earned it. That’s only natural. It is also possible that bragging about something, is done to get confirmation when it really isn’t deserved. Boasting or bragging is a poor way to communicate. A braggart wants attention. Rather than bragging (and potentially a little falsely) it would be better for me to simply say to my wife that I hope she notices the little things I do for her. That’s better than exploding if I don’t think she notices them! I think bragging is rooted in being insecure.
If you are a strong person, you don’t need to brag or boast. Bragging can have a negative impact on your Filipina because it can make her feel less important, like you are better than she is. If my wife hears me brag about something, she might take that to mean that she is deficient in some way. I don’t even brag about America where we live, because I don’t think that’s wise considering my wife has great affection for the Philippines, as she should. If you find yourself given to bragging, it is helpful to try to focus instead, on building others up, making them feel special and important. I am sure my wife loves to hear compliments from me. She doesn’t have to boast, I can see how valuable she is to me and I make sure to tell her as often as I can. It is possible some viewers could get the impression I am bragging or boasting about my wife, but that isn’t true. For one thing, I was without her for 30 years as I just couldn’t find anyone to start a relationship with, so that humbled me plenty. And for another, I am trying to illustrate to my viewers that they should hold their Filipina in high regard, as I do mine.
I do not want to say anything that could be construed by my wife as also making her feel small. I don’t want her to be impressed with me, I want her to know that I am impressed with her. I don’t want to repel her in any way, I would prefer she see me as humble. Probably the situation a foreigner would be susceptible to brag to a Filipina would be when he writes a profile for her to see what he’s about, who he is. He is the one that gets to write it, not someone else (or it might look different!). Would you invite someone that knows you well to write your profile for you? Probably not, but I think it’s a good idea to write a profile, and show it to someone who knows you well and get their opinion.
During his initial interactions with a Filipina, he will want to talk about things he is most comfortable with, which might be his accomplishments. He needs to be factual, without over blowing it, without sounding like he’s bragging. When I wrote mine, I was very transparent about my desire for a wife and wasn’t shy about mentioning that I had been alone for a long time. I also stated that I wanted to be a good husband, a godly husband, and accomplish his will of marriage and do it his way.
While you want to be appealing to a Filipina who knows nothing about you yet, it wouldn’t hurt to have some indication of imperfection, of humility so she feels that you are a real person who isn’t perfect. She is essentially interested in someone who can provide for her materially and emotionally and if she is a Christian, she will want someone who can provide for her spiritually. Being proud could be related to boasting and talking a lot about yourself. Again, this is a quality no one likes, that I know of. If a woman hears her husband say things that she considers proud or arrogant, she will resent that. Ok, so let’s say that women like men who are confident. That is different than being arrogant, overconfident, or proud.
That is definitely a turn off. It is better to communicate humility, which tends to put people at ease. I think we all like to be around humble people, if we can find humble people.
Everything I have I have from God, and that includes my Love Beyond the Sea.