Marriage Advice

Christian Men Have More Marriage Options Than They Think

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Having options is a good thing but sometimes it makes it difficult to be sure you made the right choice. A church elder told me that there is nothing better than a good woman, and there is nothing worse than a bad one. I found my wife on Christian Filipina, where you will probably get an overwhelming number of contacts whether it be winks, chat requests or personal messages.

It can become addictive to look forward to the newest profile to see. Those were the days my friend, but they did come to an end very early on when I proposed to the Filipina that I was chatting with for only 18 days. Today I want to warn you not to think in terms of there being only one woman in the world that you are supposed to marry, and to embrace the idea that there could be many women who could be the so-called “one”. You will definitely hear some different ideas here on Love Beyond The Sea so please subscribe and get notifications for many more upcoming videos.

Seeking a wife, which you should do, presents a situation that is made more difficult if you are of the belief that you are searching for “the one”, that there is just one soul mate available for you. I’ll explain why I do not subscribe to this, and believe me, the thought crossed my mind at one time in my life, but that can be paralyzing. Even if there were only one viable person to marry you, I think God can direct you to her if you diligently seek to do his will. Remember the Nick Vujicic video?

If you believe there is only one woman out there that God intends for you to marry, then what if she dies or marries someone else? What if He doesn’t want you to marry a Filipina, someone so far away? Having umpteen choices on a dating site is one thing but believing that there is only this one woman for you that God desires you to marry can be daunting enough to give up before you even start. For awhile I was stymied by this kind of thinking.

Here is what helped me. What are the requirements for marriage, other than what is in the law? What are the restrictions? After pondering it and recalling what I had learned about marriage while I was single all I could come up was this for me-marry a Christian. I was a Christian and some of you will be. That’s it. Make sure the person you marry has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord. That’s the only requirement for a Christian.

There is no best age or age difference mentioned, distance isn’t mentioned, culture isn’t cited, race isn’t in issue, how much time to search isn’t a major issue either although there is one crucial caveat; no fornication. If that means getting married at 18 with a short engagement sobeit. That tends to speed things up, or at least it should. Knowing God warns against fornication should drive a man to marry like there is no tomorrow.

Sex is the big reward to drive someone to marry. Yeah, I know about that waning in later years, but when seeking a Filipina, you can marry a much younger woman. People told me when I was younger “sex isn’t all that it is cracked up to be”. I didn’t believe it then and I certainly don’t believe it now after being married for over six years.

This is something I am thankful for or else I might never have gotten married. Marriage is GOD’S idea. There are biblical references of God being married to Israel and of Christ having a bride; the church. Being married is being like God in that sense. The Bible is replete with wisdom on how to love each other and even what love is (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). There is no marriage in heaven, probably because as believers we are married to Christ.

The only restriction is to avoid marrying a non-believer. (2 Corinthians 6:14-18.)

The only must have is to marry a believer which is the other side of the coin.

If God wanted to make it difficult to marry (as if it isn’t difficult enough these days) He would have prescribed the right age, the right culture, how long you have to know each other and so on, but He didn’t. I take that to mean God wants people to get married. Unless He has gifted someone for singleness for the Kingdom of God, we are to marry. I have only known of one man who had this gift. He passed away recently but he had the gift of singleness, in other words, he was able to live without sex, he was able to be single. An incredible gift, but some people have it. There are countless people who have no business being single.

Since God invented marriage and built into us the need for it, you can begin to see why there is only one mandate, because He doesn’t want us to be bogged down or paralyzed thinking there is only one woman out there and if we miss her, we are not in His will. I believe we could marry many women and be in God’s will. The women you see on Christian Filipina want to get married, would like to marry fairly quickly if they could, and if you discern a certain one is a Christian, you could ask her to marry you and she’d probably say yes.

Another big reason why we are not as limited as we might think is that God owns the whole earth and there are a lot of women there, like a Filipina, who is open to marrying a foreigner. Before I met my wife, I didn’t see merit in pursuing anyone more than fifty miles away simply because I wanted time to spend with them, in person. Because of inventions like Skype we are able to communicate with potential mates that would have been difficult or impossible in the past.

Marrying in the will of God comes down to marrying a Christian of the opposite sex. Extending your search to the Philippines or any other country in the world where you can find a Christian is a gracious way from the Lord to find a good mate. It worked for me and it can work for you. After a week on CF I began to think that doing searches and communicating with the women on my list could go on for the rest of my life if I wanted to do a thorough search.

Is that what I signed up for? Of course, I signed up for a wife I just didn’t’ think it would happen as fast as it did. Once we decided to focus on each other to the exclusion of everyone else, we moved at warp speed and on day 18 I proposed and she accepted. I identified a woman who was saved and was willing to marry me, despite being 27 years younger. Now, before you get a little uncomfortable with the thought of marrying a much younger woman, I am not suggesting you do that, but I have many videos about having a younger wife you can access in the playlist called Younger Wife.

I didn’t see the need to prolong the search when I found what I was looking for. I believe God would have been happy had I pursued many others but I am obligated to pick one and the sooner I did the sooner we would be together in America.

Allow me to add this: Making a marriage work isn’t about finding “the one” it is about “being the one” for the person God allows you to marry. It is more than a cliché. Picking someone is easier than having a life-long harmonious marriage which takes a lot of work but comes with great reward. I wanted to start that process as soon as possible and work together with her to have a godly marriage. If you are eager to be what God wants you to be for a woman, just marry a Christian who should be willing to be what God wants her to be for a man. Discerning this is the major task in deciding who to propose to. Beyond this, “the one” just happens to be the woman you marry.

I doubt any algorithm in the world would match up this combination-male 53 with average looks, no college degree, from 1st world country- female 26 and beautiful, has college degree, from 3rd world country, different prime languages, virtually 10,000 miles apart, male desires a commitment before meeting in person. We may be an unlikely couple but not to God. If I were to list the qualities I know about my wife now, and tell people before I married that I was looking for someone like that, I think everyone would think I was crazy and was never going to find someone like that, they’d implore me to be realistic.

Yet, we have been together here in America since January of 2016 and I feel like I won the lottery. We have our arguments just like anyone else but God gave me a wife who is so good to me and for me. She is a wife in the fullest sense of the word! I still can’t stop thinking about her. Subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea and find some videos that show you how to invest yourself into a marriage. Too many people today think too low of marriage. I think it’s the best, in fact, the Bible calls it the grace of life. It’s the best for most people.

I know God could have found me someone in America, someone in my own state and city, but His preference was Davao City Philippines, four plane flights away. Out with the old-fashioned way of finding a wife, and in with the new-fashioned way of online dating and video chats. There may be 100,000 women in the world who would marry you if you asked them but who has time for all that research? As I have said many times, you don’t have to know every single thing about them each other to get married. One sinner is going to marry another. How’s that for reality. I’d like to think that’s what this channel is all about. Having choices is a good thing but you only need one and she might even be close by.

If you have to look abroad and go where you’re wanted, there are many options to be your Love Beyond The Sea.

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