Relationship Advice

Don't Let the Grinch Steal Your Optimism to Marry this Season

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I want to warn you about the Grinch, a grouchy, solitary creature who hates marriage, and tries to persuade young men and older men to avoid marriage. This Grinch has been hurt in past relationships yet instead of working on improving himself, he labors to tell others who will listen, that staying single is the best way to live. All women are the same, is a common refrain. The Grinch figures that marriage is all about money and gifts, it is pretentious; not what it seems like. Subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea and podcasts on Podbean called Casting Beyond The Sea, to hear views that are in opposition to the Grinch.

The Grinch is especially irritable and irascible these days, what with families gathering for Christmas, introducing their wives and girlfriends to each other. He plots to make marriage seem undesirable any way he can. The Grinch can be in the form of MGTOW, people that think the Bible says being single is superior to marriage and perhaps men who grew up watching their parents get divorced, like I did. Love Beyond The Sea is an anti-grinch channel, in the sense that, I am trying to help men marry women overseas, namely the Philippines, or just marry the best imperfect woman they can find.

Look, there was a time once when I dreaded the holidays. I remember one time a very nice family invited me to be with them over either Christmas or Thanksgiving. After I rang their door bell, I was greeted by a cute little “Cindy Lou Who” lookalike young girl who asked me “Where’s your wife?” While it was a cute remark, I wasn’t laughing or tickled. I was trying to escape from that, but is that possible? Relationships and marriage are still a “thing” as long as people don’t get warped too much in their thinking. You know, the little girl made in innocent comment and I have never forgotten it. She was surprised someone would show up who was…single…and a man old enough to be married. This guy showed up at the door all by himself.

Before I got married in 2015, I felt like I was in Whoville and was disturbed whenever I went out in public. I was hyper sensitive to couples, love songs, any innocent gesture of affection between a man and a woman made me mad at the whole thing. “Why couldn’t I have that” was my lament. A big difference was that I didn’t try to turn people away from marriage like is being done today.

I was single during a 30-year stretch where I wanted to be married. I didn’t know why it was so difficult. I could have joined the ranks of the complainers that it is just too dangerous to be married today and felt good about it….well no, not really, I would have felt like I was deceiving myself and giving up and men don’t give up. Like the saying “When the going get’s tough, the tough (don’t go MGTOW,) they get going” looking for a solution.

That’s what I did by looking for a wife overseas. From the moment I even had the idea for that which came from my pastor at church, until I got married was just over two months. I met a marriage-minded woman online and we got married in less than eight weeks. You can go slower than we did but you can get married in the Philippines, and I think younger men need to listen to me, not the older Grinches, and not short change yourself. If you think being married is fraught with difficulties, just see (no, don’t) what living the rest of your life single would be like. By the time you figure out you were misled, it would be too late. You’ll be a Grinch for the rest of your life.

I’ve been married over five years and seven months, which seems like a couple of months instead. A “Grinchy” attitude will retard your progress to get married. You know, it’s a big world out there. I would highly recommend looking outside your box, going where you’re wanted, and not give up looking for a wife.

You will run into people who will try to dissuade you from getting married, but I am not going to be one of them. If you are new to Love Beyond The Sea, I encourage you to subscribe and even share videos. Assuming you are not designed for a celibate life, I want you to know there is at least one place on earth that has the message that marriage is better for all but the smallest percentage of people. Finding a suitable spouse requires more effort than accepting that, but I can share with you my experiences up until the present day. I’m no Doctor Seuss, but I can prescribe something to end that nagging loneliness you may be experiencing-get married.

I don’t even expect the tide against marriage to slow down; there is an assault against marriage these days. Real quick, I’ll say it again-marriage is normal and natural, and the way God designed us to live. If you want to learn more about why I am so sure of that, watch some of my videos. There must be 670 by now and I have started podcasts at

I used to be sullen, moody and depressed around the holidays. I am glad I didn’t join in the anti-marriage crowd, and I don’t want you to either. I don’t even remember what those days were like anymore. My wife and I don’t have a perfect marriage, yet I still know that’s to be expected and that marriage should be pursued.

A Grinch believes that marriage is only about money and a piece of paper and societal pressure, I say that God himself designed it and instituted it until the end of time. A sex drive and loneliness is not meant for being selfish and taking, it is meant for being unselfish and giving and receiving. Does that sound like a fairy tale? We aren’t meant to live in isolation. The Grinch would have you stay in your cave, but it is far better to find love beyond the sea

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