Marriage Advice

How Well Do You Know Your Filipina Wife?

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I found an article I liked and will link it for you as well as the questions in the description box, to a quiz about how well you know your Filipina. Please subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea for any help I can provide for foreigners interested in a Filipina or for those who already are; many of the topics can help anyone. I only scored a 7.5 which is not all that good, but that doesn’t surprise me, especially when reading the part about how to understand your score. I want to make marriage great again and think most people will be miserable alone.

From the article-When you review your answers together, remember that it's your partner who decides whether you earn a point for each answer. 

Scoring is not the key to this quiz—the conversation is—but here's a possible scoring guide:

If you (or your partner) score 16+ points: You know your partner very well—and if you scored more than 16, and you've been with your partner for less than six months, you're probably a bit intense in your relationship style. (That’s interesting to me when it says “probably a bit intense in your relationship style). At first blush it would seem great to know someone this well but if there was pressure put on the other person to give answers about their life, then that would be forced and probably not good, even though they know the answers.)

(It should come out in a relaxed, normal flow of conversation, which includes asking each other ice breakers and the type of questions you can find on lvbts.com. I want to caution here for those looking for a woman overseas, to be careful to not go overboard and interrogate her as if you already don’t trust her. Yes, there are risks in getting to know each other from so far away, but regular, consistent focus on each other can help you discern how honest the other person is. And, you don’t have to know everything about her. Obviously with my score of 7.5, there are things to learn and I look forward to that. The main emphasis on Love Beyond The Sea is behavior that builds and sustains the relationship, and marriage is my focus since I believe that is the very best kind of life for most people, by far.)

If you score 10-15 points: You know your partner pretty well. In what categories do you know them less well? Maybe the two of you haven't talked much about your childhood experiences, or you've shied away from talking about topics related to negative emotions. Aim to learn the answers now.

If you score 5-9 points: Maybe you've only been together a short time, maybe you don't talk to each other much, or maybe your conversations tend to be of a particular type (e.g., you're both in the same profession and mainly talk about work.)  Ask yourself now if your personal lives or careers are so demanding that you're not getting a chance to talk and connect.  Would it be worth bringing more balance to your relationship?

If you score 0-4 points: The good news is there's lots of room for improvement here.

(Am I alarmed at my score? No, because she was 9800 miles from me and we got married on the first visit I took to the Philippines. I went there for the purpose of marrying her. Very soon we will celebrate 6 years together and this little woman has become my best friend and my favorite place to be and in my thoughts like she is part of my brain. I concern myself with her present, her future, her family, her emotions, her overall health and her opportunities and needs.)

Why these questions? 

These questions are designed to tap into a range of positive and negative emotions. The questions about negative emotions and fears are included because strong relationships involve being willing to be vulnerable with each other. Questions about childhood are included because close couples typically understand the formative experiences that made each other who they are today. And the lighter, more fun questions are included because it's important to have conversations about your positive emotions, too. 

(Note: These questions are designed for people who have been together for several years or more. If your relationship is newer, adjust your expectations accordingly.)

1. What’s your partner’s least favorite body part?

2. When your partner was a child, what did they want to be when they grew up?

3. Name a country your partner would love to visit. (Paris, Singapore, Canada)

4. Did your partner have a nickname as a child? What was it? Bonus point: Did they like the nickname? Why? (Ai)

5. Which of your partner's aunts or uncles are they closest to? [Skip if not applicable] (At first I checked this one but now that I think about it, it was my impression of who they are closest to, I haven’t asked her specifically.

6. What disappointment or rejection from your partner’s past still stings?

7. Which of your partner's achievements are they most proud of?

8. What’s your partner’s least favorite housework task?

9. Name two of your partner's grandparents. Bonus point: Can you name all their grandparents?

10. Outside of their career, what's something your partner considers themselves naturally talented at?  (I could say she is mechanically inclined but I really haven’t asked her what she considers herself good at)

11. What's your partner's favorite smell?

12. What’s your partner’s favorite flavor of ice cream? (Chocolate, Neopolitan)

13. What’s a personality trait your partner dislikes about themselves, and that they share with a parent?

14. Of all the ways there are to die, which does your partner fear the most?

15. What type of music does your partner secretly like? What's a musical taste they have that most people wouldn't know they enjoy?

16. What does your partner typically look forward to most about the weekend?

17. Who is someone your partner considers to be a mentor, or who has been a strong positive influence on their professional development?

18. How did your partner spend their summers as a child?

19. What are your partner's favorite and least favorite aspects of their work?

20. Does your partner consider themselves more like their mother or their father in terms of personality? In what way?

21. What purchase is your partner currently considering? What's on their wish list?

If you score 5-9 points: Maybe you've only been together a short time, maybe you don't talk to each other much, or maybe your conversations tend to be of a particular type (e.g., you're both in the same profession and mainly talk about work.)  Ask yourself now if your personal lives or careers are so demanding that you're not getting a chance to talk and connect.  Would it be worth bringing more balance to your relationship?

My wife is not as talkative as I am so that is a factor here and I have never been interested in delving into all these questions although they are good questions. Back in 2015 I was close to getting married and ending a decades long drought of being single and since we got married so quickly, I figured over time I would learn more about her and I was committed to her no matter what, so there would be time. According to these questions It looks like I have a lot to learn about my love beyond the sea!

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