Marriage Advice

Monetary Help to a Filipina's Family is a Requirement

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The next subject of the playlist called Straight talk to western men about Filipinas, is about the ever present, much maligned, and frequently despised topic of sending money back home to support the Filipina’s family in the Philippines. Here, I will take the position that this is not only appropriate, but a requirement. Please subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea for tips and advice on dating and marrying a Filipina and be sure to share this if you know someone else who has similar interests. Click on the notification bell but remember to do the final important step which is to click on “all”, to actually get notifications. I am also on Tik Tok, Facebook, Twitter, Odysee, Bitchute and have podcasts you can subscribe to on Podbean.

Someone will say “Aha, so you are admitting that the ONLY reason she married you was for your money, you’re busted!” I think it is healthy to accept that the main objective she has in marrying a foreign man is to provide help for her family who may be living in poor conditions. That’s one side of the coin (no pun intended). Here is where the foreign man needs to be practical and unemotional. You were chosen or will be chosen, because you can help her and her family, by allowing her to work and even helping yourself. Why am I telling you this? Isn’t this channel supposed to be encouraging men to seek and marry Filipinas?

It sure is. I am not going to sit here and say “Oh no, it is not a requirement to allow your Filipina wife to send back a good deal of her hard-earned money to help her family.” I think it is a requirement if you are concerned about the health of your marriage! If you understand that her main objective in marrying a foreign man is to provide help for her family, then you shouldn’t have any trouble accepting that she is required to send money back home. I want you to brace for this inevitability. She also wants a nice man and is willing to bypass other options in the Philippines. Consider what you are getting with a Filipina wife.

You should know that a Filipina who has been responsible to help her family in the past, is very probably going to feel immense pressure to continue to do so, for who knows how long. You may feel strongly opposed to that familial pressure, but there is nothing you can do about it. To properly understand your wife, it is necessary to allow her to fulfil her duty to her family, because she is more or less burdened to do so. Deciding beforehand that you will not allow her to help at all would end the relationship promptly.

I want to be real with you, and I want to hear from you if you would leave comments. I realize this is a controversial subject. You may have a healthy way of dealing with this that I haven’t discovered. I’d like to think the Filipina is sensitive to the needs of her overseas family, and quite possibly she might feel like she is being asked to do too much at times. You can offer her emotional support, but that has to include the realization that she can’t just say no.

Am I suggesting that when a Filipina marries a foreign man that if she were to list her main objective it would be to have a measure of financial security for herself and her family in the Philippines.? Yes. This is absolutely necessary to understand and accept when marrying a woman from a poor country. If you can possibly manage to set your ego aside, and acknowledge, better yet, grasp this reality, you are ready to invest yourself (again, no pun intended), into a relationship with a Filipina.

Allowing her to help back home is a given, but what about the foreign man? Ok, she has a duty to help her family, but she isn’t going to marry the highest bidder. That’s where you come in. That’s where I came in back in 2015 when I married my Filipina after a whirlwind 54 day getting-to-know-you period. My wife acknowledged last night that we are still learning about each other. She didn’t marry me because I made more money than anyone else interested in her. She accepted my proposal and began wedding plans, BEFORE I talked to her in detail about what was to become our finances.

She already knew she would be working in America, and she has done very well, I am very proud of her. She is probably helping her family more than she anticipated and they are no doubt happy about that, however she chose me to marry. She was a free agent, and any foreigner could have pursued her, but I was the most aggressive and intentional in everything I did. Here is the other side of the coin: Her objective was to provide for her family, her priority was to marry someone she thought was a good man. I won her heart and her commitment by being sincere about wanting to marry, and she just happened to be ready and willing to do that, although this all happened so fast.

Many Filipinas have told me that they wished they could find a foreigner who was serious about marriage, who didn’t play games. Are you listening? Women on Christian Filipina have messaged me many times to say congratulations on finding a wife, and they hoped they would find someone to love them. They weren’t looking for the highest bidder. They know full well that often a foreign man is not serious. Have the covid quarantines and restrictions made it more difficult for Filipinas to find westerners? I suppose it has. I hope they aren’t losing interest. Some men have found it difficult to connect with women that I know. If you can develop something with a woman from the Philippines and be ready to see her as soon as the “gates to the Philippines” open again, you would be making good use of this downtime.

Perhaps the men just aren’t sure what to make of all this, which is what I want to help with Love Beyond The Sea. The Filipinas are fully aware they are seeking a foreign man because he gives her the best chance to help her family, and she is brave enough to go overseas to be with him.

She will choose you because she feels you will be good to her, physically, emotionally, mentally, and embrace the realities of the Philippines. She is not a robotic cold-blooded mercenary, leaving everyone behind for the goal of some financial assistance. That is a lazy way to look at it. You are free to disagree with me. I am just trying to give the foreign man the best chance to succeed, and for that to happen, I feel the need to have straight talk to foreigners about Filipinas. Good husbands want to help the Filipina’s family, after all, they are now one big family, however far apart.

In the next installment of this playlist, I am going to take just a little time and talk about why your money isn’t enough for a Filipina, and why you should want it that way. That is for next time on Love Beyond The Sea.

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