My intent with this video is to help identify the traits of a Filipina that gives a foreigner the best chance of marrying someone who will stay with him, not become “Americanized” and not leave him for greener pastures. It is impossible for me to exactly define the woman that is guaranteed to not be contaminated with western ways after immigrating. My wife and I don’t see eye to eye on this topic as I have shared some thoughts with her. I will try to show why I believe what I list here, but at the same time, there are exceptions.
I have a video called “Why you should bring your Filipina to America” and a live stream called “29 ways to keep your Filipina from becoming Americanized” that combine well with today’s video, and I will link them in the description box. Remember I started a podcast series reviewing the book Sexual Detox at lvbts.com to talk about things I can not do a video over here. Also at lvbts.com is a Private Consult link.
Wouldn’t it be great to only have to search through a list of Filipinas who are certified to not become “Americanized?” The best a foreign man can do is think about what gives him the best chance to succeed. What kind of Filipina makes for the least risk to bring to America?
The kind that isn’t madly in love with being in America-The reason I say this is because if she isn’t anxious about leaving the Philippines and going to America, I think there is a better chance she won’t be swayed by western thinking, western ways. I would be a little concerned that she doesn’t want to be married to me as much as she wants to get out of the Philippines, or to just be in America. If she says she is willing to relocate and be your wife but admits that she will miss the Philippines I would assume she is being honest, and if other factors are positive, I would consider her a good candidate to be a committed wife.
Let’s say she says she is absolutely excited about coming to America. My wife doesn’t see this as being a problem but I would feel a little uncomfortable about it. I would prefer that coming here wouldn’t even come up until much later. I mean, she could make the remark without being prompted that she would absolutely love to live in America. She might be sincere and merely isolating that from the idea of a relationship with a foreign man, but I would wonder if that is the big draw to being contacted by a foreigner. I might be making too much of this and there are other things I would look for to clarify that she is someone that will not be blinded by feminism and materialism.
The kind you can talk to about marriage- if she is in agreement, that is probably a green light. What do I mean by talk about marriage? She won’t shy away from questions like How would you define marriage? Is it ok for two people of the same sex to be married? What do you think is the role of the husband and the wife in marriage? How important is the Bible in marriage? Who makes the decision in the marriage when there is a deadlock? Should you always forgive each other? How important are religious beliefs in marriage? How should decisions be made in marriage?
If she is eager to talk about this and you can tell she has thought about it before, that to me is a good sign. However, if she seems put off by having to talk about this, then perhaps she isn’t ready yet. I suppose a woman could be on a dating site simply to attract attention to herself or to carry on with the foreigners but if you were like me and looking for a marriage partner, then you are better off chatting with a woman who likes to engage in these kinds of conversations.
It may be that she hasn’t thought a lot about marriage and could make a good wife someday, but there is nothing wrong with taking more of a sure thing, if there is such a thing. My point is you can feel more secure bringing a Filipina to America if she is willing and able to communicate with you about marital things. If she is hesitant to converse with you about things like this, I don’t see the point in marrying her.
She is hard working, with family depending on her-Many Filipinas are like this. If this is a trait you see while she is single, there isn’t much reason to think that will change after marriage and immigration to America. What I like about this is that she has learned responsibility and has to be unselfish to use the money she has earned to help others. I would be wary of a Filipina who believed it was her husband’s job to help take care of her family without her helping out.
I will make this disclaimer, jobs might be harder to find in the Philippines, so it is possible the Filipina simply hasn’t had an opportunity to show herself faithful to work. Has she been looking for work? Does she want to work and if so, why? Does she exhibit characteristics of someone who works hard at home?
I want to be careful to say that while I believe it is more of a sure thing if she has shown herself responsible in being employed, it doesn’t have to be a deal breaker. For example, if you are wealthy enough that she doesn’t even need to have a job in America, then you would just want to be sure that she isn’t lazy. You may have ideas of what she could do and how you could use her help without her having to work 40 or more hours a week in America.
Her siblings work too-What I am getting at here is that if others in her family are working, that means they have plans for themselves in addition to the family. They aren’t riding on the coattails of their sibling who is working. Often when one sibling is going to college, another sibling is working to provide for them, then they take turns providing for each other. A good Filipina wife won’t want all her family to rely on her and her foreign husband. Again, if her siblings are looking to work that is a good sign that they are part of a good hardworking family.
Is proud to be from the Philippines-I would be suspect if I was bringing a Filipina to America who wasn’t proud to be from the Philippines; that didn’t love the scenery, the weather, the people. I have been to the Philippines four times now, and have met my wife’s family and many of her friends. They are polite, friendly and cheerful. They are survivors, they tend not to complain. They are respectful. This is the type of characteristic I can see not changing after immigrating to America. I want my wife to be the same person here that she was when I married her. These are just my thoughts and impressions; they are not hard and fast rules that must be followed. I just want to make the impression that a foreigner needs to be thoughtful about the dynamics of marrying someone from so far away.
Is well grounded spiritually-I just believe that a Filipina with a strong biblical understanding and relationship to God will not be persuaded to become westernized or “Americanized”. I believe it is important for the couple to be on the same page spiritually.
Isn’t materialistic-You might think a Filipina would not be materialistic but materialism is an attitude as much as a lifestyle so although she might not have much, that doesn’t mean she isn’t materialistic. If she is talking about having things, doing things, getting out of poverty, to me, that could be an indication that she might not be content having more in America. It might also be an indication that she simply desires a better life and nothing more and nothing less.
Just having more doesn’t mean someone won’t want even more. I think you should look for a Filipina that when you talk to her, shows that she values what she has, wants to make the best of what she has, is frugal and makes wise choices. Gambling is also something you need to be cautious of if she is getting into that.
If she is asking for stuff like watches, cell phone, clothes and various gifts when you haven’t met or married her yet, that is a red flag to me. I hope you are the type of husband that wants to buy her these things after you are married, but if she is clamoring for them while you are dating, that simply is a bad sign, well maybe not, it could be a sign you need to move on.
Has good quality friends-Why is this important? She surely is either influenced by the friends she has or has friends with similar qualities as she has. You can’t always know much about her friends unless you meet them for yourself and form an impression, but if her friends seem grounded and nice then I would think the Filipina you are interested in would be the same.
It is understandable to be a little nervous about marrying someone from so very far away that you probably won’t be able to spend an abundance of time in person with. You are aware that many people in America don’t think highly about bringing a Filipina to America, especially if there is a large age gap. Some people are inconsiderate enough to try to tell her that she is making a mistake or that they (some guy) would make her a better man. My aim has been to illustrate some things that you should keep an eye on when corresponding to a Filipina that you are considering marrying and bringing to America.
I believe Filipinas still make great wives, I married one after all and am very happy with her. You can’t tell for sure what may happen in the future with this relationship but if you consider these things you can increase the likelihood that you marry a Filipina who sincerely wants to be married for the right reasons and isn’t a threat to “change” her ways after she arrives.
Do you agree with me when I say that the likelihood she will change and start listening to the wrong people is already present before you marry her? I doubt that once in America, she begins to be wrongly influenced. This is why I believe you should consider the things I’ve said. Please comment if you can think of other ways you can be reasonably sure your Filipina can be trusted to not change her ways once she is in America.
Ultimately it comes down to trust, but it shouldn’t be blind trust. I wasn’t too worried when I married my Love Beyond The Sea!