Who should say I love you first?-Dr. PHILippinesby Bobpublished on
In a relationship, where two people have feelings for each other, it’s only natural they reveal that but who should say it first? Does it matter? When should those words be said? I will explore that question today, leave your comments in YouTube or in the Love Beyond The Sea Community Corner linked in the comments section.
Subscribe to Love Beyond the Sea and get notifications for upcoming videos. I’ve been married for almost five years to a woman from the Philippines. How did we go about expressing the feelings we had for each other? Let’s get into that.
While there are no real rules about this, I have a difficult time seeing the value in a woman saying she loves you to a man first. She very well might have feelings for him, but if he hasn’t said the same thing to her already, he likely doesn’t feel about her the way she feels about him. Maybe she says it first because he hasn’t said it yet and she thinks by saying she loves him that he will then say those “magic words”.
I believe the man should be the initiator in proposing to the woman and also in saying “I love you”. I think he needs to drive the relationship. If she thinks by telling him he loves her he will respond the same, what if he does it but only because he doesn’t really know what else to say? I think he might do that. He might come across in a way that is not very convincing. He might even be shocked she told him she loved him, then back away.
I think it is appropriate for her to ask him of his evaluation of their relationship. In a recent video I mentioned someone I had feelings for but they didn’t have them for me, that has actually happened to me the other way around. One day a woman who I was only friends with (they had been a friend of my best friend at the time) became close to me and it caught me off guard. I really was only trying to be nice. I had never said anything about liking her or being in love or wanting to have a relationship with her.
It got to the point she called me up one night and told me straight up she wanted to know if I saw a future for us. Talk about being put on the spot but that’s okay, it was imperative for her to know. She was pretty blunt. While not expecting that, I was impressed she was so open about how she felt and she laid it all on the line. I was oblivious to all this, because I was only trying to be a friend.
Someone told me once that men and women can be “just friends” and my opinion was that they could not. I am talking about two people, not two people out of a group of friends. This woman didn’t want to spend a single day more wondering if I was going to say I loved her, apparently.
Of course, someone will have hurt feelings if they disclose how they feel and that love isn’t requited. That would be embarrassing but if you have to know, you have to know. Sometimes us men can be a little dull when it comes to recognizing signals from a woman but in all likelihood when a man is sure he just can’t live without a certain woman he will just tell her. He will probably also do that if he is reasonable sure she feels the same way. Do you agree? Let me know what you think of all this.
As for my wife and I, we were in a very long-distance relationship with me being in the United States and her being in the Philippines. I moved very quickly in proposing to her in only eighteen days and we got married on the fifty-fourth day. Before we met in person, we told each other that we would not say “I love you” to each other until we met face to face. I also know by saying I loved her that I would need to prove it the rest of my life, which is fine.
Since I initiated the relationship from across the world, it was fitting that I would be the one to say those very serious words “I love you” first. I don’t see how it’s a good thing if a woman does that. Let me know if you have strong feelings about this. I have never heard of a woman being the initiator in this way, maybe today that’s changed, it just seems weird to me.
If you are a man involved or wanting to be involved with a
woman from the Philippines like I did, and she tells you she loves you and you haven’t met in person, haven’t made a commitment to each other, you should be very suspect about her intentions. Being so far away, there is the added element of danger that she could be scamming you.
Guys, don’t tell a woman you love her unless you mean it, but do it as soon as you mean it. Women, find out how he feels but don’t say you love him first. Throughout my videos I have talked about what real love is, and it is serious business. I hope you check out some of those videos if you haven’t yet on Love Beyond The Sea.