Relationship Advice

Young Men and Family Pressure to Avoid Dating Overseas

published on

At Love Beyond The Sea, I am an equal opportunity employer. While older guys have long been familiar with and certainly willing to go to the Philippines to look for a wife, I don’t hear much about younger men looking for good wives in the Philippines. I believe young men owe it to themselves to consider overseas dating if they want to avoid being alone the reset of their life. That sometimes comes with some pressure and resistance from family, which is what I want to address today. I will use comments I received from a concerned subscriber. He is going to talk about where this family pressure comes from and what a young man can do about it.

Please subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea and I can show you what works with a woman from the Philippines. I married a Filipina six years and five months ago and this channel details the many aspects of such a relationship you will encounter and I want to help it to go well. You hear me say GWYW now and then, which is Go Where You’re Wanted. For many young men, that very well might be the Philippines. I have a playlist I will link in the description box that has these four videos in it, so far:


How Can a Young Man Impress a Filipina?

Make a Filipina Your First Choice to Marry?

Can a Young Man Find Love in the Philippines?

Should Young Men Join Christian Filipina? Live Stream


The majority of men I communicate with are young guys in their 20’s and 30’s, so I know there is keen interest in finding love beyond the sea. Watch these videos for the reasons why a young man is an attractive option to a Filipina. Here are my subscriber’s comments, followed by mine. Let me know what you think in the comments section.

Older generations (with the exception of sexpats, expats) have the mentality anything outside of the USA is lawless wasteland because of life experience and being closed minded because of their upbringing. As such have an ignorance to possibilities and are set in their ways and anything deviating from that formula is wrong.

I was fortunate to not even know about much of this when I got married, so I don’t know for sure if it would have deterred me or not. What I do believe is there are many Filipinas who would love to marry a western man who is younger and closer to their age. Their online dating profiles reveal that. For many that is there first choice, but, where are the young men? These girls want to get married. They make good mothers, good companions, good lovers, good friends. I got married in less than eight weeks, you can find one sooner than you think.

Common complaints

"A LDR will never work, you're too far away"

"You're not trying hard enough; you don't need to date someone half a world away. Why don't you date someone from here?"

While the Philippines may be thousands of miles of air travel away, there is nothing the Filipina can do about that and she is the one who needs to be pursued. When a man takes the initiative to fly to see her, that means a lot to her. A young man without children pretty much puts him at the top of her list. Come on man, what are you waiting for?

Using webcams to communicate is about all you can do to see each other face to face and while the Philippines is pretty much shut down at the moment, I doubt that is permanent, so you can use the time now to communicate with someone, get to know her well enough then visit her in the Philippines. LDRs are not that uncommon anymore.

I felt like I tried for several decades here in America and felt like maybe time had passed me by but if I had tried the Philippines sooner, maybe I wouldn’t have had to wait so long. I am not really proud of my Guinness Book of World Records for being single. If it hasn’t worked looking where you are, go where you’re wanted. And what difference does it make if a woman who would marry you lives far enough away to have to fly to visit her? Personally, I don’t think it is all that difficult to find a wife if you focus on the Philippines. That may apply to a different country too, and that still applies to younger men. Don’t waste time, you CAN find a wife in the Philippines!

These types of people will be the 1st to tell you "I told you so' as a means of stroking their own ego and further validating their ideas.

Relationships that don’t work can occur right where you are. You don’t need to look overseas to find situations where people have gotten taken advantage of. Use common sense and you can avoid getting taken advantage of. The subscriber’s comments below are in red.

Younger Gen X, Millenials, Gen-Z and below grew up in a globalized world therefore with the help of the internet see nothing wrong with international dating. To them the world is their village and are more open-minded to the concept.

These 2 diverging thoughts clash and can often result in caustic fights between the younger man and his older family members leading to feelings of animosity and estrangement.

I don’t want to pit a young man against his family. In fact, I wish his family would watch my videos. I believe that as much as possible, we should try to have the approval of our family when it comes to our spouse. I think usually they will try to not interfere but for some, the idea of a very-long-distance relationship makes them worry it will not work out. Maybe the family should be asked if all relationships are great in their country? What can a young man do? I will add a video called Young Men in Crises for you in the description box, I had overlooked that out of 850 videos.

Young men despite the enormous amount of family pressure should stay the course and do what makes them happy and not be pressured by family expectations.

Proving the family wrong will eventually lead to acceptance to the idea. As it dispels the propaganda from the media they grew up with.

A young man (especially if he is living at home) must show leadership and independence, while also acknowledging certain concerns regarding scamming. This shows the family members that he is no longer a little boy that needs to coddled, and he can handle his own affairs.

Not taking the chance will lead to regrets and what-ifs, don't let that happen to you. You have nothing to lose as long as you are smart about it and follow the rule of not sending money.

There is no law a wife has to come from within a certain radius, what is important are the qualities she has. I think after the family as a chance to learn what she is like, what her good qualities are, and even be able to communicate with her themselves, they can be won over. The main thing is finding a suitable mate. What is the point of limiting yourself in this process?

Don’t think for a moment that overseas dating is an old man’s game because it isn’t. Do some Filipinas yearn for a young westerner to woo them and ask her to marry him? Of course, they do. There are plenty of women to go around. You have youth on your side, increased earning potential, you can run around and do things with a young Filipina, travelling there shouldn’t wear you out much, and you may have more in common. You might be skilled in today’s technology, which is a big help. You can have many years together. Wow, that sounds good to me. I sort of wish I had done this sooner but I wasn’t privy to LDRs and dating overseas. I assumed like some of you that it would be easy right where I was, but I was wrong.

You might be subject to reasons why a VLDR won’t work, but the other side of the coin is they often do. I can help you with what to do, after all, I have to live it out myself and I want to be real with you. Family pressure exists to protect you, but not accepting some well-conceived risk could result in shutting you out from finding love beyond the sea.

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