So I don’t forget to tell you, the Filipina is not likely to be very picky. If someone should be pickier then I would say it ought to be the women in the Philippines. I think they settle too often but that’s a video for another day. You may feel like you have some ground to make up in your search for a Filipina wife with the quarantines in the Philippines, so please use this opportunity to watch this channel to be more prepared to meet a woman there.
Men from all over the world have sought to marry a Filipina due to her beauty and more traditional values, myself being one of them. At some point, we have to pull the trigger and decide on the lucky one, but that can be agonizing. Please subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea, where I’d like to help men who are where I used to be, by sharing what I have learned about seeking, finding, and living with a Filipina wife. Comments are welcome and remember to get notifications for upcoming videos and also click “ADD” to complete that process. I have four ways of pickiness today to share with you, and more in a subsequent video because there are a lot of ways to be too picky.
International dating presents a problem, albeit a good one, that is lacking with US sites for example, and that is that the women in the Philippines actually want to get married! Whereas it is difficult to get any attention on the US sites, internationally you actually will have options and have to make a choice. That’s good right? Yes, but the problem is how to decide on the finalists, and how to pick the winner. I will link a playlist on internet dating for you to learn about this process with a Filipina, so that in today’s video I can focus on being too picky.
I have gone to the store and stood there looking at all the different types of toothpaste, thinking why can’t I make up my mind, they’re all good, just pick one. It is much more challenging when confronted with the task of narrowing down a list of quality Filipinas. A guy should be selective, just not too picky, because that will hinder his progress and use up time that could be spent petitioning this woman from the Philippines to be his wife.
Assuming a person’s “must haves” have been met, here are some thoughts on why a man might be too picky and what he can do about it.
Has to click right away-If a man is looking to establish chemistry right away, he would be eliminating candidates who for whatever reason, didn’t cause the sparks to fly in the first chat or two. Does this sound fair? Chemistry is not a box that gets checked off in the woman’s profile, and frankly, I don’t think any algorithm is going to be able to determine chemistry.
I am not saying that if the initial chats have been duds to stay with it with a particular woman, but can’t the chemistry develop over time? Let me know how long it took for you and the Filipina you are with to the notice chemistry. In our case, I must have had enough chemistry to keep chatting with my wife for four hours a day, maybe not, I really never thought about it. I just wanted a wife and I wanted to be a husband.
I proposed to her on day 18. I don’t remember thinking we had great chemistry, but I do remember telling my pastor on the twelfth day I was considering proposing to her, so we must have had something by then. I wasn’t afraid to marry this woman and continue to develop our relationship as we went through the visa petition. I’m not crazy, we have a good marriage and have developed good chemistry, so I did something right. We wanted to get married and did in less than eight weeks from a world apart.
When someone is expecting to click right away with a Filipina, I would suggest giving it another time or two. It might even be possible that the conversations were superficial or not very long and didn’t supply enough to start learning about each other. I will link a playlist to at least two live streams about questions to ask when getting to know a Filipina. Maybe certain questions could spark more interest. I will link a video about chemistry in the description box.
Limit of cities-Since I am talking about choosing a Filipina, it is possible a foreign man might limit his search to a couple of well-known cities, or a particular main island. He may have heard one is too dangerous. Perhaps he has heard of the crazy traffic in Manila and won’t go there or that’s the only place he is familiar with. He might only want a province woman or one from the city.
In my case, I knew nothing about the Philippines and couldn’t have found it on a map, I just knew the women I had been talking to lived there. Manila- I had heard of before because of the “Thrilla in Manila” boxing match there a long time ago. I don’t know if I had heard of Cebu before, certainly not Davao City. That was probably an advantage for me.
Over emphasis on compatibility-This area is more tangible than the feeling of chemistry. With chemistry you feel like you have something going, that you just seem to easily relate to each other. Compatibility requires less feeling and more discernment as to whether or not you and the Filipina have enough of the most important elements that you need, to get married.
The question is how much compatibility is needed? If there is compatibility in two main areas, does the foreign man look for three, or always look for someone that might be a little bit more compatible than the others he has chatted with? Yes, selecting the right woman to marry is a big decision but that doesn’t have to make it an agonizing one.
Regardless of how much you have in common, there are enough differences in culture and perhaps age, to make for conflict. I think there will always be a certain amount of conflict no matter who you choose.
Keep in mind that you will naturally have less in common, which could make for less compatibility, with a woman from the Philippines, especially with a large age gap. Going to a different country to marry a woman who might be a lot younger, who is difficult to get to know well because of a lack of time together and vacation available, makes finding compatibility take more time. As such, I suggest patiently letting compatibility show up, if it is going to. It might not be evident early on. You can always make yourself compatible to each other by taking interest in each other’s activities, being unselfish, really wanting the other person’s best.
Isn’t it possible that compatibility could be developed over time? Is it possible that just having a couple of “must haves”, provides enough compatibility to get and stay married? Let me know what you think. As much as I like to think things through and am told I think too much about the future, I streamlined my search for a wife by NOT getting too far ahead of myself. I was okay with marrying a Filipina who was a Christian, who I got along with, and that was about it. I wanted to be attracted to her and was willing to trust her and trust God that we would do what we needed to do, to stay married.
That I was on Christian Filipina to find a wife was self-evident, that’s what a site like that is for. I think many of the Filipinas there are the same way. With that being understood, I wasted no time trying to prove I was hungry to get married. My emphasis was on, “if we got married, what do we need to agree on?” “What would it be like?” A Filipina isn’t likely to have a long list of necessities to look for like in America, which makes getting married even easier. My profile indicated my intent for marriage. Our chats, among other things, were about what defined a marriage, what each person’s role was, which I call the basics. If we were going to be going in opposite directions in the vision for our marriage, I wanted to know sooner than later.
No dating site algorithm was going to match us up. Many people think negatively of finding an international wife, especially with an age gap. You’ll need to be prepared to accept some social disapproval or at least know that it exists and not be bent out of shape about it.
The right age-Speaking of age, compared to America, where you might be restricted to being within a few years of each other, it isn’t that way in the Philippines. It’s almost as if that isn’t an issue at all. You might be able to marry someone from 18 and up, but that may not be the best, but that’s for another day. With age not being much of a factor, it can be easy to be too picky because you have more options.
You ask yourself, how young before she is too young for me? If she is more than five years younger from you, you are already subject to societal disapproval. What is the best age for me? How would I determine that? When you decide on an age bracket, next you have to try to gauge the maturity of all of the women. This requires many chat sessions. Is 25 that much different than 26 or 29 than 30? Yes, it very well might be.
I chose 20-30 for my age preference, my wife’s happened to be 20-barely breathing, just kidding. Her’s was 30-55, I happened to be 53 so I just made the cut. Keep in mind that part of a younger age group is the likelihood of wanting children. I can see this being a decision easy to be too picky with. You can’t expect a younger Filipina to not want children. I will continue with more pickiness to avoid soon on Love Beyond The Sea.