The other day I was visiting with a friend whose Filipina wife had arrived from the Philippines a few days earlier. He was talking about family acceptance and made a statement that was so simple, yet I had not been able to put so clearly even though I felt the same way. It was about money.
Please subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea for a channel that is all about helping the foreign man be able to successfully pursue a Filipina all the way to the altar! My perspective might be different than what you are used to so go ahead and leave a comment and get notifications for upcoming videos. I just love the comment this man made.
He said that people close to him were saying the expected things like “she’s only after your money”, and his response was a thing of beauty. He replied “But I want her to have my money!” So simple and educational. This is the way I felt when I married a Filipina. If the Filipina is well off, she isn’t going to be looking to marry a foreigner. As I grew older, I wanted to marry a woman who didn’t have much, so I could feel like I was giving her a better life, so I certainly could relate to his comment.
Of course, she is marrying him for a better life, no kidding. If I had a daughter I would counsel or advise her to do the same thing, marry a man who can give you a better life and wants to. The money is simply synonymous for a better life. I find it appalling that people can think in such black and white terms like “She’s only marrying you for your money”. What a repulsive comment that is, and I have heard such ignorance from people myself. Now I will add that money just by itself is not enough to sustain a relationship.
If someone said to me “You are only marrying her for her body”, I would take offense to that. I’ll be the one to tell anyone why I am doing something. If someone said to my wife “He is only marrying you for your body”, I would hope she would reply that she wants him to have her body!”
It wouldn’t matter to me if I was filthy rich, if I marry someone, it belongs to them as much as it does to me. I consider it our money, not mine. It matters not to me if she comes into the marriage with no monetary assets at all. What do I care? I am the one who is supposed to provide for her. I could have provided for someone else, but couldn’t find anyone to take my money! The fact that my Filipina wife is entitled to my money is the way it should be.
In my case, my wife didn’t pester me to find out what my assets were. We had agreed to marry and I didn’t show her any financial information until I met her a couple of weeks before the wedding that she was organizing. I included all the financial information I could as part of my immigration petition for her. She has never made a big deal of it and often I have wondered if she even understands the relevance of the money since she was living in a day-to-day world.
I love my friend’s comment and I will use it in the future if someone insults my intelligence by enlightening me to her financial motives. Of course, she is looking for someone to provide a better life for her and I want my wife to have my money. I want my wife to have my house, I want my wife to have my car, I want my wife to have my furniture and so on. I want my wife to have everything I have.
All of those things are not as valuable to me as having a good wife. I have had those things for a long time and I was miserable as a single person. After having been married for seven years, I feel like I have gained everything and lost nothing.
Please leave a comment if you agree or disagree or if you have encountered times when your wife’s motives were challenged. I will sum this up with three quick points-
It is his choice what to do with his money-Thankfully, the husband has a choice in what to do with his money and after considering a host of things, can decide to marry the woman of his choice.
He is perfectly fine giving it to her-Whomever he marries is not forcing him to give it to her or forcing him to marry her.
He gets what he needs too-Whatever I end up leaving to my wife one day will not be greater than the satisfaction I have received from being married to her. The Filipina is likely going to want her own job anyway, because she won’t expect her husband to just hand it over, she’ll want to earn it herself.
I will link a video in the description box called 4 Concerns for my Filipina wife when I die. My desire to provide for my little woman goes beyond my lifetime.
“But I want her to have my money!” I hope you will feel that way when you meet your love beyond the sea.