In a recent video I talked about being patient, kind and positive as ways to show your Filipina wife that you love her. I have a lot more ways today, and we still won’t be able to cover all of them but will conclude in another video. Subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea to learn down to earth and practical ways to be the type of husband any woman wants. Lvbts.com is our website. I have nine more today so I will get started so you can be closer to making your love beyond the sea feel loved
By not comparing to other women-I tell my wife often how amazing she is, that she is my Amazing Aiza. That is how I named her online checking account and what I have written on her checkbook. I tell her that no man has it better. I want her to feel good about herself and that she is appreciated, that I think about her all day and frequently dream about her at night. I say “goodnight my love, now I will dream about you.” If I were to tell her that I wished she could be more like some other woman or someone else’s wife, that would defuse her enthusiasm to be the best wife she can be.
By complimenting-This was touched on earlier under being kind. When you get comfortable with complimenting, it is a fun and satisfying thing to do. If it is something mundane like changing the bed sheets, she can be complimented. If she normally buys the groceries you can tell her thanks for doing that. The more you do this the more she will know that what she does matters to you. You can compliment her on being a good lover, companion, cook, anything.
By being humble-This is a subtle way to show you love her. https://lessthanhim.wordpress.com/2008/01/16/6-ways-to-show-humility-to-your-spouse-and-grow-your-marriage/
Being humble is marked by meekness or modesty; not arrogant or prideful; self-effacing (not claiming attention for oneself)
Ways to show humility to your spouse
-Be selfless, putting your spouse first.
-Be consistent with small acts of service
-Welcome advice from your spouse on many topics and problems
-Be quick to admit when you are wrong
-Accept apologies and offer forgiveness quickly and freely
-Respond graciously when you are really right and your spouse is wrong
One’s ego is an obstacle here. It may feel painful at first, but learning to be humble or act with humility is good for your Filipina and therefore is good for you. If I assume washing the dishes or the clothes is my wife’s job and refuse to do it, then that is not being humble. Giving her a foot massage once I am aware that she likes that, is being humble, or making her breakfast in bed when she just wants to stay in longer. Temporarily putting aside something I am doing to attend to a need of hers is showing humility.
I try to defer to my wife whenever possible. One day she wanted my opinion on certain things to buy for the new house in the Philippines. I was planning on leaving it all up to her because it is her dreamhouse. I may be the head of the home and the one who makes the decision when we are deadlocked, but I absolutely need my wife’s opinion in order to make the right decision.
It is also difficult admitting when we are wrong. But when we consider we are fallible and have made a million mistakes over the years, it becomes easier to accept that nothing new has occurred. When was the last time you did that? All of us might have to think about that for a while. When my wife apologizes for something she said or did that she knows hurt me, I don’t replay everything she said, well, sometimes I do, but I shouldn’t. More often than not I simply respond with “I accept your apology my love, it’s ok, really.”
“Responding graciously when you are really right when your spouse is wrong” is a good lesson to learn. Marriage is the best place for these things to be learned as you will get plenty of experience!
“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” – I Peter 3:7 (KJV)
From the article I will link in the description box-
Honoring is “a valuing by which the price is fixed
of the honour which one has by reason of rank and state of office which he holds
We honor the position, not necessarily the person
The Bible tells us to “Honour thy father and mother” (Ephesians 6:2) and when we honor our parents, we are honoring their position as our parents, not necessarily their person. It is the same way with a husband or wife. A wife is called to respect her husband’s position even if his person is not respectable. (Ephesians 5:33). A husband is called to honor his wife’s position even if her person is not worthy of that honor.
For most of us, while our parents may have been imperfect, they not only deserve to be honored for their “position” as our parents, but they also deserve to be honored for their “performance” as our parents.
Another excerpt-On the other hand – praising one’s wife does not mean we have to worship her or give her false praise for things she has not really done.
Remember that unlike the Agape love that is unconditional (love from the will, not based in feelings) that men are called to in the Scriptures to have toward their wives – praise is something that is earned by one’s actions. The link to this article has 12 ways to honor your wife that I will not talk about here but I plan to do a separate video on this topic alone. It is a no nonsense and unapologetic article.
By being selfless-You can show your Filipina love by not being selfish, a we have already seen. Kindness, humility, and honor are selfless qualities. In my marriage I try to focus on serving my wife based on Matthew 20:28 where we learn that Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. If God himself who has authority over everything, came to serve and die, I can serve my wife. I don’t do execute that perfectly but if I want the best outcome, that’s what I need to do.
By having emotional control-No one feels comfortable around someone that makes them “walk on egg shells”, someone who is capable of erupting at any times. As an emotional person, this is difficult for me as are others we’ll talk about. The first bad thing my wife discovered about me after we were married is how upset I can get, often in situations out of my control like dealing with customer service or anything else involving delay. For me to lead my wife I have to have emotional control.
By letting “bygones be bygones”-This is basically about forgiveness and not dredging up past wrongs against us. Forgiveness means cancelling the debt. Forgiving someone is a great way to show love and a great way for them to experience it. What a wonderful experience to be forgiven and to forgive someone.
By avoiding profanity-I could add name calling in here too. Using profanity accomplishes nothing except making your spouse uncomfortable and hating your guts if you use it to insult her. This relates to having emotional control. If using profanity is something that repels your Filipina then by all means work on that and she will feel like you are doing something to show her you love her.
By being honest and trustworthy-If my wife can’t trust me than she won’t be able to feel love. I believe if the husband creates an atmosphere of honesty and trust, his wife will feel safer and more secure than if she doubts what he says. The Bible says “Who can find a faithful man?” Try to be that man; faithful and trustworthy.
Can you do these things? Do you want a lasting and thriving marriage? Don’t compare, do compliment often, be humble, honor her, be selfless, have emotional control, let bygones be bygones, avoid profanity and be honest. There are still a few more to cover in an upcoming video here on Love Beyond The Sea.