Husband or Father Figure to Your Filipina wife?

You probably heard the expression “she’s old enough to be his daughter” when referring to a large age gap relationship or marriage. This is often meant as an insult. If you intend to marry a younger Filipina you might want to get used to that being uttered behind your back. Just a reminder that the Bible has no age gap requirement. Like it always does, it comes down to wisdom in who to marry. A person doesn’t marry their father. While the age gap may be large enough for her to be your daughter, the dynamic that matters is she is your wife.

She already has a father she likely looks up to, she doesn’t need or want another one. Her father won’t want you to be father number 2 either. You have a role to play in her life that her father isn’t supposed to. You are her lover. You are to give up your life for her. I have never thought of myself as my wife’s father although I am easily old enough to be. I want my wife to see me as her husband not a father figure. You and your Filipina are as the Bible says “one”. This differs from father/daughter.

When we marry, the Bible tells us to leave father and mother and cleave to our spouse, our mate. She is yours and you are hers when married. It is a relationship of husband and wife and the Bible has much to say about how to relate to each other. You can tell your children what to do but with a spouse there has to be a coming together, an agreement of what to do. Neither can force the other to do something but what they do should not make the other uncomfortable. I am always mindful that although I have experienced much more life than my wife has, that she is my helper, her age doesn’t change that.

I would hope that she respects my life experience and I want to benefit her with that, but I don’t want her looking at that as if from a father. You can be sure if you ever treat your wife as a daughter she will rebel. A Filipina marries a foreigner because she wants someone to fulfill the role of husband. I don’t think I have ever used my life experience as a reason for her to listen to me, instead I appeal to reason. She is my equal and I try to treat her as such.

Believe me, you don’t want to be seen as a father to your Love Beyond The Sea.