There was a time I wondered if I would ever find a wife. I had assumed it would be an American so I thought making a connection with her would not be difficult, however I married a woman from the Philippines, which I think makes it a little more challenging to connect or relate to her. Can you see why that might be? Today, I want to share what I’ve learned. Please subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea for tips and ideas on how a foreigner can have a good relationship with a Filipina. If something works, I’ll let you know and if it doesn’t, I’ll let you know that too. Go ahead and leave a comment and get notifications for upcoming videos.
Reach out and touch someone-I will link a nice article in the description box about connection by someone called Dr. Stoop. He brings up how touch between two people releases a chemical called oxytocin in the brains of each person. Personally, I like touching my wife, rubbing her arms, stroking her cheeks, caressing her. I lived so long without being able to do that. The main reason I do it is because I have strong feelings for her and I want her to know it. She likes it and needs to be caressed, she’s a woman. I also do it because it gives me satisfaction knowing I am communicating something very clear even without the use of words.
There will be more than usual that you don’t know about the Filipina in your life, because of the differences you have, the lack of things in common. It is also much more difficult to communicate with someone so far away as far as being in person is concerned, which would allow for better analysis of how she is responding to you. Nevertheless, something that always communicates something powerful, even if you know little about each other, is touch.
Harsh, abusive touch may never be able to be recovered from. A woman who has been harmed physically can forgive someone who hurt her this way, even peacefully release him from the relationship, but it would be extremely difficult for her to connect or relate to him any longer. The wounds are too deep. On the other hand, receiving a healthy dose of affectionate touch conveys safety, love, caring, interest, importance and value.
Even if the man is not good with words, he doesn’t even need a vocabulary to communicate very powerfully with his Filipina. If that man is a lot older than the Filipina, he can bridge the age gap to some extent simply by being adept at touching her in non-sexual, affirming, supportive ways. It isn’t hard to do, and feels good, probably the oxytocin the article mentions.
Honestly, I was concerned enough as it was with how I was going to connect to anyone after being out of the game, on the sidelines, for so long. Touch is so important and although it is non-verbal, gets a strong message across that the Filipina is special to you. Another good thing about touch is it will almost certainly result in affection in return.
This might be my favorite feature in being married to my Filipina wife. Even if we didn’t speak the same language, touch is a universal language, like music is. It forms a connection if done regularly. If you want a successful relationship with a Filipina, learn how to connect with her through touch. Sleeping head-to-head with my wife, holding hands in the dark, is the perfect way to drift to sleep. I just have to be careful not to have my head on her beautiful long black hair when she rolls over!
That’s the easiest way and a very effective way to connect or relate to your Filipina. The article also talks about the three behavioral components to an emotional connection. He lists being available, being responsive and being affirming. I highly recommend reading that article I will link. In my marriage, this is what I keep in mind.
Be available-This is why I am so adamant about not reverting back to living as if you are single after getting married. Some activities will naturally need to be diminished or eliminated. Considering you are interested in marrying a woman from thousands of miles away from a different culture, being available is even more important than usual. Not only because you are now part of a team, but also because it is absolutely critical that she know that the foreigner she has married will be with her every step of the way to help make for a good transition.
If you believe the Filipina is the prize, then you won’t want her to feel like there are other things in your life more important than she is, with the exception of God of course. And even then, he tells husbands to die for, to give up their lives for their wives. That means to be available to meet her needs at any cost. If I don’t make myself available to her, she will wonder why I bothered to marry her.
If the foreigner is retired and brings his Filipina wife to his country, availability should not be a problem. It is much more challenging when he is still working to earn a living and his wife is not able to work yet, resulting in a large gap of time most days, where she is pretty much to herself. With this being the case, she especially needs him to be physically available to her as much as possible. We went through that after my wife immigrated to America. I will link a video about dealing with boredom, that can occur after she is here. Being in each other’s presence is good but there is a little more to it than that.
I will say more in another video about how to connect with your Filipina to make a lasting bond, here on Love Beyond The Sea.