Casting Beyond The Sea Podcast

Podcast Episode 119: What Stresses Out Your Filipina? Make Sure it Isn't You

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As a husband to a Filipina that I petitioned to come to America, I have been concerned that she is able to adjust well to leaving the Philippines and moving so far away from her family and friends. Some things she will get better at adapting to such as the weather, not being with her family in person, hearing English all the time and having to be on time to her scheduled appointments. However, there will be other things that come up that cause her stress, that she couldn’t have planned.

This video will be about knowing the things that cause stress in her life, what drains her physical and emotional energy, what she deals with that she didn’t anticipate.  Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea because I want to help foreign men consider dating and marrying a Filipina, and offer what I have learned in being married for six years.  Share the videos with anyone interested in a Filipina wife and as always, your comments are welcomed. What I say works with any woman who isn’t a feminist.

I wasn’t planning on saying this but I decided to, and that is to do all you can to make sure that you are not responsible for causing stress to your Filipina.  You and I are going to cause some stress simply by virtue of being human, but I assume you want to make amends quickly and try to learn from past experiences. I’m not referring to the expected disagreements and doing some things that irritate each other now and then. What I am referring to is that I must be sure not to be the cause of continued vexation to her and either don’t know it bothers her or don’t care. What is the harm in asking her if there is something you do that irritates her?

You will need to adjust to each other but I don’t think that means that neither of you care what kind of impression you make and what kind of impact you have on each other. My wife knows that I am more verbal but that doesn’t mean that I have to hit her with a barrage of comments as soon as she comes home from work. I might be more talkative to someone else than to her and she would appreciate that! I am always working on my patience, and that’s a requirement for a lasting marriage. Asking her to be in videos causes her stress.

Our different personalities can be a cause of stress if one is more laid back the other is more intense. Most of the time, there is probably a big difference between the personality of the husband and the wife. I am definitely more intense and that can scare my wife, who is calmer and milder. I want results now or yesterday; she is more deliberate. You don’t want your sexual differences to exasperate each other. It comes down to communicating to make sure things are okay.

It may be that the pace of life, such as it is in America, will be stressful to her. That is not to say that she didn’t have responsibility and work hard in the Philippines, only that here, it is on a regular, uninterrupted schedule, and workers need to show up on time, all the time. That might be a little different than what she experienced back home. Here we work and try to save and she might have a little trouble adjusting to what sometimes we call “the grind”, working day after day, seemingly just to keep our heads above water.

We have all kinds of bills considering internet, cable, garbage, water, phone, electricity, heat, a lot of taxes, and it can feel like we are working simply to be able to pay for those things. This could prove frustrating for her.  In our case, my wife is very ambitious and has excellent energy but I think she needs me to support her as much as I can with allowing her to buy things for herself with her hard-earned money.  I compliment her as much as I can because at work, she might not hear a lot of good things. I allow her the space she needs to communicate with her family and enjoy joining in myself.

Listen to the podcast for help with what your Filipina wife may be going through in the early years of your marriage.

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