“Flattery will get you everywhere”, they say. We all like to hear compliments as long as they are sincere. Your Filipina is no exception. Flattery is normal in the dating process, but this needs to turn into specific compliments after marriage. Please subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea. I want to offer help to foreign men who are interested in dating and marrying a Filipina. I have been married to my Filipina wife since May 10, 2015. This is a channel for higher Fil-West education. Leave comments too.
Flattery differs from being complimentary in that flattery has a connotation of insincerity in order to gain something for oneself. A compliment is a sincere acknowledgment of something pleasing about someone else. I think that the longer one has been married to a Filipina, the longer the list of compliments should become.
I call my wife “My Amazing Aiza”, which encompasses all of her good qualities. I have it written on her checkbook and in our on-line banking, that’s how her account shows up. I enjoy complimenting her and I know this is a powerful tool for you to gain much respect from your wife or the Filipina you are dating. I let her know how much I value her in my life, that I need her in my life.
We live in a very negative, complaining, argumentative world. I like sports and like to look at certain message boards but there is so much complaining and fighting about silly things. Someone can’t mention nice weather without someone else complaining about how it isn’t nice for everyone! Just ridiculous comments. People can hide behind a keyboard and spew all kinds of nonsense and hate and stay safe behind their keyboard.
Oftentimes in sports, coaches think it is a brilliant idea to motivate through fear and intimidation, but anyone with a lick of sense understands that being positive and noticing good things, is much more effective, especially for the long term. And who cares if you get results if everyone hates you? Being able to compliment your Filipina is absolutely crucial to building her up and setting her up for success in life. I will put a link in the description box to an article about the importance of compliments in marriage. I know it would be beneficial to take a look at it.
True, it is easier to be negative and complain and point out flaws than it is to praise someone or offer compliments. Compliments are hardly ever heard. How often do you hear it at work? It is a huge confidence builder and motivator but is simply overlooked and underutilized, but when you’re married like I am, it needs to be a regular occurrence.
Impact of Compliments on Your Marriage
When you give sincere encouragement and compliments to your spouse, several things are accomplished.
Your spouse's self-confidence is increased.
Your own self-worth is increased.
The friendship between the two of you is strengthened.
You are demonstrating your appreciation.
You are making your spouse feel cherished and valued.
You are focusing on the positive instead of the negative.
You are creating a nice moment between you both.
Tips for Complimenting Your Spouse
Use "I" instead of "you." For instance, say, "I appreciate that you cleaned the house" instead of "You did a good job cleaning the house."
Use congruent body language when you compliment. You should be smiling, using eye contact and the words should be said in a warm and sincere manner.
Be on the specific side. For example, it's better to say "That color brings out your beautiful eyes" rather than "You look beautiful."
Don't have a hidden agenda or disguise your compliment in a criticism. Your compliments must be direct and sincere. For example, don't say, "I'm glad you are finally on time." Say, "I love that you arrived so promptly."
If complimenting doesn’t come easy for you, I think that is very common but gets easier as you do it. Am I responsible for how my wife feels about herself? I would say yes, to a high degree. A wise person compliments in order to reinforce positive behavior. If I like anything about what my wife does, then complimenting her on it lets her know I value it. If I like anything about the way she is, then complimenting her let’s her know I don’t want that to change.
If you’re already doing this, good for both of you, and if not, learn to be comfortable complimenting your love beyond the sea.