Relationship Advice

The Crisis of Men's Self Esteem and the Filipina Solution

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How did it help me? If a guy already feels like he is reasonably ready for a relationship, and he doesn’t have to have everything figured out in advance, he is likely to make a connection very rapidly. Filipinas on dating sites want a husband. I am not sure what the western women want but in the Philippines, even the young 20-something women want a husband. I didn’t know this at the time but it sure would be music to my ears if I was just starting out looking for a woman from the Philippines today.

A guy can’t realize his potential by himself, he needs a potential mate and I think there are many Filipinas who want younger guys, middle aged men, and will marry an older man. I remember seeing profiles of Filipinas preferring men who were about their age, and they were young twenties. I am sure many don’t even see an opportunity with a younger man as their suitors tend to be older men. Dating overseas can help by virtue of giving the man a chance, a real opportunity to connect with a Filipina.

A younger man has some things in his favor such as being the same age as a younger Filipina, they could have a long marriage, perhaps more similar interests and compatibility, better health, be more active and have more years to earn income. He may be more amenable to giving her the baby she wants.

2. How does the dating environment affect men's self-worth i.e. (lower their self- esteem) and how is the Philippines different from what they are used too?

I broached this earlier. Constant ghosting and rejection isn’t easy on the ego, and you really have to learn not to take it too seriously, which is easier said than done. When you are about out of hope, what is a guy to do? You can look for a wife in a different country, as I did, as many have. You can sift through as many options as you want in the Philippines as many will contact you.

3. Can the average man who feels this way find love in the Philippines?

Yes he can. He would do well to not go into a relationship with a Filipina harboring bitterness to western women as the Filipina won’t be interested in him airing his dirty laundry. I think it is quite likely she will want to focus on the future rather than the past. Remember that they are on line to find a husband, I think the vast majority anyway. What do you think my wife said about me being alone for a Guinness Book of World Records 30 years? She said that didn’t matter, we would focus on our relationship; the past is the past for both of us. Wow, I needed to hear that! See my video called Nice Guys Finish First in the Philippines.

4. Is dating in America really that harmful to a man's self-image and what are strategies to cope with this environment till he can get to somewhere saner?

It was harmful to mine and maybe it shouldn’t have been but I came to expect that I couldn’t find someone here. I think it helps to be absolutely convinced you need a wife and that you are going to spend time while you are without her to improve yourself in some way. For myself, I actually bought a new wardrobe of clothes. Eventually when my Ford Escort died, I started leasing cars. I studied marriage as much as I could so I would be prepared whenever I got an opportunity. I tried serving in church, I went to the gym. Now this was over many years.

I wanted to be prepared even though I knew that once a relationship is established, growth opportunities would take place that I would simply have to wait to be in. I tried to control what I could and learn what I could. Let me know in the comments what coping strategies have worked for you. Something else I did was look for someone to mentor me so I didn’t lose hope, and so I had someone I could blow off steam to when I needed it.

Someone who wouldn’t criticize me for my feelings or strong desire to get married. Someone who believed marriage was worth striving for. They weren’t always a lot older than me either but were people who understood my plight and could appreciate that I wanted to get married for the right reasons. I believed I was supposed to get married and had something to offer. I needed it.

5. Will I be accepted for who I am, when I date a Filipina? You may have experienced feeling like you had to measure up to some very high standards or qualifications just to get a relationship with a woman in the west. We all have standards but it seems that women in the west have unrealistic expectations. Standards are good but we are all broken people with flaws and we crave the opportunity to be with someone who can accept us, flaws and all, and each allow the other to grow and improve.

A Filipina may tell you she is a simple woman. That’s a good thing. She is talking about her lifestyle and her needs; just simple, normal, everyday expectations, not complicated or unrealistic. She won’t be as picky as a western woman. I think they have proven that for decades. I had gotten the cold shoulder for many years but that didn’t chase away my wife when I met her.

She read my profile, communicated with me a lot, and really only wanted to look to the future. She didn’t want to rehash the past. She knew neither of us was perfect. She wanted us to begin a new life together and leave the past behind. She even said this at the post wedding celebration.

While a Filipina will accept you for who you are, of course, we all need to be mindful of what we need to improve on. Prepare yourself for marriage by working on being kind and patient, by being a devoted employee, by learning about priorities in life, by taking better care of yourself. Self-improvement is something you owe yourself and your wife one day; that’s a good thing but I think you will be delighted by how much you are likely to be accepted by a Filipina.

Why not give it a try? The Philippines is a great place to find Love Beyond The Sea!

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