Relationship Advice

Why I Rushed to the Altar to Marry a Filipina

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We did get married very quickly, 54 days to be exact. I proposed to my wife on day 18, flew to the Philippines in April and married in early May of 2015. Was that too quick? It would be for some. I did not believe it took a lot of time to determine who to marry. I believed that there could be many women who could be someone I could marry, not that there was just one that existed. While I had been alone for the previous 30 years, I spent a lot of time studying the Bible so I would know everything about marriage that I could. I ready many books, talked to many pastors, watched videos, just tried to learn from any good source, but the main one is the Bible, since God created marriage and men and women.

I believe God created a woman to be the helper of a man, as Eve was made for Adam. I learned the only quality that was essential was that as a Christian, I marry a Christian. It didn't say how old or how long we had to know each other, or what country they were from. Finding a believer to marry isn't so simple, but they are all over the world, including the Philippines. When I identified someone to propose to on the international dating site Christian Filipina, I didn't hesitate to ask her. I had started to seriously consider proposing to her on day 12. My pastor talked to her on Skype and told me he approved of our relationship so we got married! It will take a long time to get to know someone and it is possible you'll never know them totally. I wanted to commit to someone and now had someone that would commit to me so we did.

Since I had been actively trying to learn about marriage, I did not consider myself as having gotten married very quickly any more than a long time musician made it big and was called "an overnight sensation".

I knew I needed a wife and wasn't the least bit ashamed to admit it, even though the world today seems to place less emphasis on getting married. I did not consider being single to be the great lifestyle others thought it was. I felt poor and that the married people were rich. I believed the Bible taught that for most men, marriage was a need. the exception was having the spiritual gift of singleness, which is the ability to live without sex for your whole life, and it doesn't frustrate you. I heard Rick warren say that. I would add to that, that it is by his choice and for the sake of the kingdom of God, it is not for him to do whatever he wants to do. Often, this gift has an evangelizing component. I have only met one man in my life who had the gift of singleness.

He evangelized many college students. I am glad I didn't give up, and grateful to my pastor for helping me try to find a wife. I had been going to his church for about two years. Going to church had become very difficult. He was the first pastor that seemed to really care. He actually Skyped with my wife in the Philippines, before we got married. He approved out relationship, although he thought she should be a little older, he didn't want to stand in the way of me getting married. We are closing in on three years of marriage now and doing very well, I honestly feel like a king coming home to his castle to be with his queen. We got married in only 54 days despite being nearly 10,000 miles away when I winked at her on line. I did not believe it had to take a long time to get to know someone well enough to marry them. That will be the topic of another video. I went from feeling like I was starving to now feeling satiated. Every couple is going to have the usual difficulties now and then, we are no exception. I was looking for a Christian woman, I actually wanted someone who was relatively poor and I wanted to give them a better life. I had not been looking for a younger woman as here in America that is nearly impossible, that is, to find a much younger woman.

My wife is happy about me, and I am happy with her. Many men are giving up on marriage too soon. Sometimes I think the church doesn't have an answer for them when a single man confides that he very much needs a wife. I think virtually every man needs a wife! There is the poisonous MGTOW movement that I probably oppose in about everything I say. After all the time I was alone, I could have give up, but I HAD TO BE MARRIED. I knew it, I believe the Bible has enough to say about whether someone should marry or not. Love Beyond The Sea is about helping foreign men to pursue a Filipina and help equip him to love her God's way. I will show what works and what doesn't, and how I want to be the best for my wife. Being married to her has eased so much stress on me.

For those thinking that love has passed them by, you might fare a lot better by looking for Love Beyond The Sea.

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