This is from a series called Straight talk to western men about Filipinas. The last time I talked about the man’s requirement, in my opinion, to support his Filipina wife’s family either by allowing her to work to send money home to them, or by offering to help himself. Today I will continue in that vein with a topic called Your money isn’t enough for a Filipina. Please subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea and share videos that will help a foreign man to be equipped to pursue a Filipina for marriage. Also have to click the notification bell plus click on ADD to be sure to get notifications.
I want to be honest with the men about things they might have heard, some of which are from disgruntled guys and are naturally going to have a negative connotation. I have been married to a Filipina since May 10, 2015 and continue to learn about my wife and Philippine culture.
I hope if you saw the last video to this series, that you understand where I am coming from. Having said that, I hope it isn’t a startling revelation that your money isn’t enough to coast through a relationship with a Filipina who has left everyone and everything behind. I will link a video in the description box called “Who is the prize, the foreigner or the Filipina?” I think it is important to respect what the Filipina experiences when she leaves the Philippines to immigrate overseas.
The reason I am making this video is to ensure that the foreign man doesn’t assume that he can help her family or allow her to send large amounts of money back home, then sit back and rest on his laurels. That won’t sustain the relationship and you can take that to the bank (oops, another pun). No one wants to be seen as a money machine. The next time someone tells you that as long as you give her the money she wants she will be happy with you, here is some food for thought.
She marries the foreign man that she thinks is going to be kind to her, so be kind to her. She will want you to include her in key decisions, she will want you to ask her about her day, how she is doing. It is helpful to ask her about her family and to learn their names. She will want to be allowed to learn different things by trial and error, she might even want to learn to drive, and unless there is a reason for her not to, I think she should.
Doctor Gary and Barb Rosberg surveyed over 700 couples and report these as the top needs for women in marriage-
#1: Unconditional love and acceptance. Imagine your spouse loving you completely, without even hesitating over your mistakes. Sounds just like Christ, doesn’t it? That’s the core of unconditional love, and He is the source of it. You can reflect God’s love for her and your love for her by encouraging her, standing with her, complimenting her, respecting her opinion, talking with her – and listening, spending time with her and serving her.
#2: Emotional intimacy and communication. When your wife hears the word intimacy, she thinks about emotional connection and communication. She wants a marriage that has vulnerable sharing of inner thoughts, feelings, spirit and true self. Listen to her. Show her an understanding heart. Give her attention and affection. Build rapport with her. Resolve conflict and safeguard your relationship.
#3: Spiritual intimacy. A wife wants a marriage as a cord with three strands: God, husband, and wife. She wants God to be inextricably woven throughout the marriage relationship. She needs to be growing spiritually and watching you grow spiritually and leading the home. To do so, encourage her spiritual growth, encourage her fellowship with you and others, encourage her to express her spiritual gifts and encourage her with your prayers.
#4: Encouragement and affirmation. To keep a bounce in her step, give her daily doses of encouragement. Tell her she’s your best friend, that she’s the best wife, give her some space when she needs it, leave her thank-you notes and give your wife extra help with chores. Encourage her by understanding her wiring, giving her first place, pointing out her potential and appreciating her contribution.
#5: Companionship. To your wife, friendship means heart-to-heart communication, special time away with you and growing old together. It involves togetherness. She needs you to work hard at your marriage – to laugh together, play together, stay the course and work out the inevitable differences between you.
Doctor Willard Harley from His Needs Her Needs: Women's Needs
3. Honesty and Openness
4. Financial Commitment
5. Family Commitment
His Needs Her Needs List: Men's Needs
1. Sexual Fulfilment
2. Recreational Companionship
3. An Attractive Spouse
4. Domestic Support
His belief is that when you make large love bank deposits into these things, you will be more in love with each other. I will link both in the description box below.
Can you provide these to a woman? It will take more than money to find and keep your love beyond the sea.