I missed talking to her in person-Chatting on Skype is necessary while dating and I actually thought it would be reminiscent of those days but it really wasn’t, not at all. Of course, in those days it was four hours a day or more, in this instance of being apart for fifteen days, it wasn’t anywhere near that because she was so busy. I actually didn’t know she was going to be as busy as she was.
Maybe we talked about that, I don’t remember. It was a letdown, not having her around like I had always taken for granted. I missed messaging with her-When you’re on the run, messaging is usually the way to communicate, but we didn’t do a whole lot of that. Messaging with her has always been difficult at times for me to know her mood when she types a message. Sometimes I wonder if she’s upset with me. Again, my fault for expecting it to be like the “old days”. She was very busy, I understand that now, and while some messages are nice, I would prefer face to face, but you know how the internet connection can be there, which is frustrating. I missed being with her.
Naturally, I missed having her near to eat with, watch a movie, lay in bed relaxing, sometimes doing a video chat with her family, asking her how her day at work was. While she was gone, I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary, so she was as they say, conspicuous by her absence. I never want to get accustomed to or comfortable being without her, that’s just me. I was glad when the fifteen days ended.
I missed holding her-If we couldn’t communicate as much, it was worse not being able to hold her, hug her, snuggle up to her to stay warm at night. I actually think a lot can be conveyed simply through touch, and it certainly is a form of communication, and just feels good. I make it seem like it was eight weeks without her, it was only fifteen days, but it was the first time I would come home from work, be alone, and go to bed alone since we got married. It was necessary, but I wasn’t looking for some time without her. She didn’t have a lot of time to talk-After she got back, I realized how busy she needed to be while there, and in addition to that, she was around family and friends, so I had to tell myself that it was understandable if she used a lot of the small amount of time she had left, to be with her family.
I didn’t begrudge her that, I just was frustrated, and I do think I was being a little unreasonable. Could we have talked more? I’m not sure. In my morning here in the states, it was relatively late where she was and she was probably exhausted. In my evening, it was her morning and I realize she had a lot of things to do, and was feeling pressure to keep moving to get everything done that she was there to do.
I realized how important she was to me-I knew she was important to me, but as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. I don’t like going places without her, I prefer she be with me. When I was single, I felt like if I couldn’t do something with a girlfriend, I’d rather just stay home. I did a lot of that, since I couldn’t find a girlfriend. I missed the food she would prepare-I must have eaten the same thing about every day. She packs the food I eat at work, so I couldn’t even send her a thank you message for that like I usually do. What I learned-I definitely don’t want to be apart for two weeks again.
There might be emergencies that come up and this recent separation was for a specific purpose where I didn’t need to be there. I am looking forward to the day we can retire in the Philippines and be together every day without having to each go to our jobs.
I found marrying a Filipina to be a wonderful experience, but not fifteen days without my Love Beyond the Sea!