I talked about scamming, time to know her, younger wife, visa process, communication and distance in the recent video that is part of a series where I will talk about some possible threats to your comfort zone in meeting and marrying a Filipina-a woman from the Philippines. Prior to that I touched on cultural issues and interracial issues. I have nine more threats today. Leave comments if you can relate to any of these or think of some other ones. I will talk about adjustment, how to decide, being “Americanized”, what people think, boredom, inability to divorce, having children, language and lack of faith that it is possible.
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How she would adjust to new country-You have no way of knowing if she won’t be able to adjust and there are practical things you can do to help her. Filipinas have learned how to adapt to many countries which should give you confidence. She will need your attention and plenty of time to adapt, along with you allowing her to work through homesickness. She will probably want to spend a lot of time on social media which I think you should allow her to do. This again is something I never even thought about because when I met her online on March 17 of 2015, I had only started to seek a Filipina, it wasn’t something I had been planning and studying a long time and I wasn’t expecting to find someone so quickly.
My wife has adjusted very well. She drives, she works, she runs our household, she gets along with my mother who lives with us, she is respected at church and at work. It hasn’t all been easy for her but she has persevered. I am very proud of her. She has rarely talked about missing the Philippines although I am sure she does.
How to narrow choices-Online dating in the Philippines doesn’t even resemble dating online in the United States. You actually have potential, many options with a Filipina. You will discover you have more options than you know what to do with. Instead of allowing that to be intimidating, you can see it as giving you a great chance to find a wife. There is no perfect Filipina, work on knowing what to look for and realize that she can’t marry you if you don’t propose to her.
Fear of being “Americanized”-See the live stream called 29 ways to prevent your Filipina from becoming “Americanized” and I also have a regular upload about that. I understand the reluctance, that’s why I put a lot of thought into that topic. This phenomenon does not happen to everyone’s Filipina wife. Honestly, I talk about 29 things you can do; everyday things to help prevent her from changing. I have not seen any other videos do anything about this except claim that it is a sure-fire guarantee that she will become westernized, but I disagree. You can’t control her but you are able to influence her. See that video called 29 ways to prevent your Filipina from becoming “Americanized”.
What people would think-This is more important to some than others. It is always a good idea to get good feedback from people you trust. I believe that in finding a wife, it shouldn’t matter what people think if they are predisposed to being anti-marriage. Marriage is God’s idea and a great one. The options are almost unlimited if an intercultural and interracial marriage isn’t s stumbling block for you. I have two people I need to please with my marriage and that is God and my wife. I am as happy as a pig in the mud with my Amazing Aiza.
What if your coworkers talk behind your back, some family members object to it, some of your friends avoid you? Your real friends aren’t going anywhere. I don’t want to live my life trying to satisfy people who only think they have my good in mind. A good Filipina wife is a tremendous blessing. I know Fil-Am couples who are very satisfied, who feel like they have to pinch themselves. One fellow from work confided in me that when he was younger, he wished he had done what I did, pursue a woman from another country. Some may feel disdain that you married a Filipina, others may have jealousy. Still others will probably want to find a Filipina themselves.
Will she get bored-She might but there are things you can do to help prevent that. I have a video about preventing her from getting bored. I have compiled a lot of videos with many more to come so I hope you can find that one by searching for the video called A Filipina with time on her hands, dealing with boredom. I think it is a good idea to help her learn to drive, so she can go to work. Including her in your social circle, spending ample time together, continue to date each other, allow her to communicate on social media as much as she needs to, and don’t pressure her to adjust faster than she can. Encourage hobbies, social work, help her to find friends.
Not being able to divorce-To me this was a good thing. If she is unable to divorce me then fine, I don’t want her to. We married in the Philippines because she wanted to. She wanted her family to be there so we got married in front of about 150 guests in Davao City. Divorce is not legal in the Philippines. We could talk a lot about how people take advantage of this, but I felt this was a positive, that there was not divorce in the Philippines.
Have children or not-A very valid concern considering most Filipinas that don’t have children want to have children, even if the foreigner is a lot older than they are. Something to talk about before marrying, for sure. I have a live stream called Having children in an age gap marriage. I go into a lot of detail of this topic. It can be a gut-wrenching decision when you understand how much she desires to have a baby, if she doesn’t have one. Oh, it matters.
Language-You would soon find out this is not likely to be a concern. My wife didn’t learn until high school but she speaks well as you can tell. At her age she will continue to learn the English language better, get used to past tense, present tense, future tense, and how some words have multiple, different meanings. I think many foreigners and Filipinas can attest to having some communication challenges now and then, but it’s nothing that can’t be resolved. With my wife, texting is where there might be some misunderstanding. At one time we both decided to not do it because of getting upset with each other. That didn’t happen on Skype.
Lack of faith-Although there might be others, the last one I will list here is a lack of faith. Somewhere inside you will need to have the drive to pursue a Filipina. Not only that, but that you will be able to find her, and the risk will be worth the reward. I want to do all I can to help you come to that conclusion, however I won’t pressure you. Whether you seek quickly or slowly, there should be no second guessing. Ideally a man would pursue hard and with confidence they can guide and keep the marriage together.
I just thought of another threat to marrying a Filipina, here is a bonus one-Karaoke! Of all these things, the most challenging of all just might be having to sing karaoke, especially if you are not prepared. Well, you can always practice in the car or the shower. I think karaoke is fun, but at first it was intimidating. It took my wife and I three and a years of marriage before working up the nerve to do it together in the Philippines and it was fun. I want to do it more the next time we are in the Philippines.
Here is a quick rundown of the 17 threats to your comfort zone with a Filipina:
Not sure of interracial marriage
Getting scammed-various ways-
Could take too long to get to know them-
The visa process-
How to communicate-
Too far away to travel-
How she would adjust to a new country-
How to narrow choices-
Fear of being “Americanized”-
What people would think-
Will she get bored-
Not being able to divorce-
Have children or not-
Lack of faith-
I will list as many video titles as I can in the description box that can help you with being comfortable pursuing a Filipina.
A man will need to overcome these threats to find their love beyond the sea.
Videos that can help you-Being Confident with a Younger Filipina Wife
Husband or father figure to your Filipina wife?
One for the ages-Age gap with a Filipina
Initial questions to ask a Filipina online
Questions to ask to gauge compatibility with a Filipina
Questions to ask a Filipina before marriage
Chatting with several or chatting with one?
From blown off to blown away-Online dating success
How I know I married the right Filipina
Striking Gold or Digging for Gold?
A Filipina with time on her hands-dealing with boredom
Marrying a Filipina, was it worth it?
Filipina stereotypes are stinking thinking Part 1
Filipina stereotypes are stinking thinking Part 2
Filipina stereotypes are stinking thinking Part 3
How to have a successful marriage to a Filipina
Concerns we had about our Fil-Am marriage
29 ways to keep your Filipina from becoming “Americanized”
Why you should bring your Filipina to America
Should age gap marriages produce children?
How to communicate with your Filipina wife
Have no regrets when trying to find a Filipina wife
Can you believe it? (Marriage to a Filipina)