You may know that I proposed to my now Filipina wife after only 18 days, then married her 36 days later. Very quick. I don’t think I ever thought we had chemistry, at that time. I wanted a wife and she wanted a husband. I wasn’t looking for a person that was a mirror-image or where there were a lot of sparks necessarily, I was looking for a wife, someone with shared values who I could marry.
I wanted to be attracted to her, which I was, but that wasn’t something I expected to carry our marriage. Let’s run through some questions as quickly as I can. Does chemistry develop over time?-I think it can, and happens a lot with westerners and Filipinas. I think Aiza and I have settled into a kind of chemistry that works for us.
I think we understand each other better. I think we are a good match: I think we’ve become a good match. I’d like to hear from others about their experiences. Did they have chemistry right away or did it develop over time? We have our chemistry and it works for us. Can chemistry fade?-Unfortunately, I think it can. I think after it is built and established, that it requires some nurturing. If the acts that helped build the chemistry stop, the chemistry might stop. But wait a minute, am I saying that chemistry needs to be built or it just happens? I don’t know, I think some of this is hard to put into words or maybe just to understand. How long does it take for a spark to develop?-It may be that pulling together during a difficult time is the catalyst for chemistry. It may be an initial act of kindness that is the catalyst.
It may be after realizing that you have a lot in common with each other. But does having a lot in common always ensure a good relationship? You may have known of couples that seemed like the perfect match, made for each other, but it didn’t work. What is chemistry in love?-This is a toughie for me too. I have mentioned many times in videos that love is an action, a verb, that it is sacrificial and unselfish and bears difficult circumstances, so I am inclined to believe that by my definition and understanding of love, that chemistry would have nothing to do with it. If I love my wife, I treat her well regardless of how she treats me. If I relied on chemistry, harmony could get blown up real quick. Or maybe not, what do you think? How do you know you have chemistry with someone?
I’d say if you feel you “click” with each other, you like being with each other, you probably have some kind of shared interest. I’m not sure though, if this applies to a LDR with a woman from the Philippines. When I was in elementary school, there was a kid that I instantly, and I mean instantly hit it off with.
We both liked football and we would play this very crude football game that we got from the back of football cards that we collected, then advanced to a board game that used cards with plays on them or something. We could play that game over and over. We always had a blast. We’d just be silly and laugh. We’d go out in the winter and play football. To this day I doubt I have ever had a friend like him where we had such chemistry and it seemed to be almost immediate. Sad to say after a few years his dad moved his family out of state and that was that. I’ve even driven by the house he lived in since it isn’t that far away. I would describe that relationship as having quick chemistry. We had immediate similar interests that we could share and of course were the same age, same gender, same education, same town. That is different from an LDR with a Filipina. Do you need chemistry in a relationship?
Well, how did arranged marriages ever work out? At this time, I would say that is helps to have chemistry develop at some stage of the relationship, let me know what you think.
The goal of my channel is to help men get and maintain a healthy marriage to a Filipina, regardless of how much chemistry you may discover with your Love Beyond the Sea.