Does Having Sex Make Two People Married?

I talk a lot about marriage here and for good reason. Someone told me once they thought if two people had sex outside of marriage, then that rendered them…married. His reasoning was that made them one flesh and likely got this from 1 Corinthians 6, which we will look at. This is from gotquestions.org-(Focusing on the view that people are married by virtue of having sex)

“God considers a man and a woman to be married at the moment they engage in sexual intercourse. There are some who take this to mean that a married couple is not truly “married” in God’s eyes until they have consummated the marriage physically. Others argue that, if any man and woman have sex, God considers the two of them to be married.

The basis for this view is the fact that sexual intercourse between a husband and wife is the ultimate fulfillment of the “one flesh” principle (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31). In this sense, sexual intercourse is the final “seal” on a marriage covenant. However, the view that intercourse constitutes marriage is not biblically sound. If a couple is legally and ceremonially married, but for some reason is unable to engage in sexual intercourse, that couple is still considered married.

We know that God does not equate sexual intercourse with marriage based on the fact that the Old Testament often distinguishes a wife from a concubine. For example, 2 Chronicles 11:21 describes one king’s family life: “Rehoboam loved Maakah daughter of Absalom more than any of his other wives and concubines. In all, he had eighteen wives and sixty concubines.” In this verse, concubines who had sexual intercourse with King Rehoboam are not considered wives and are mentioned as a separate category.

Also, 1 Corinthians 7:2 indicates that sex before marriage is immorality. If sexual intercourse causes a couple to become married, it could not be considered immoral, as the couple would be considered married the moment they engaged in sexual intercourse. There is absolutely no biblical basis for an unmarried couple to have sex and then declare themselves to be married, thereby declaring all future sexual relations to be moral and God-honoring.”

Sexual Immorality 1 Corinthians 6 (This may have been what my friend was referring to)

12 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. 

13 You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 

14 By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 

15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 

16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” 

17 But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. 

18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 

19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 

20 you were bought at a price. Therefor honor God with your bodies.

This is from cadz.net-

“Sorry, but sex does not equal marriage in scripture. Notice in the OT passage … that AFTER the man had relations with the woman he had to marry her—–IF her father allowed it. Her father could disallow it as well, so marriage is NOT required for sexual relations. We also see in scripture that harlots were NOT considered married women due to having sexual relations with men. They were harlots………..and they were able to marry lawfully after being a harlot and their 1st marriages were never spoken of as being adultery.

… In the OT, AFTER a man had taken a woman’s virginity, if the father approved, he then had to marry her and NEVER divorce her all the days of her life.

We also see in Hosea, that Gomer was ALREADY a prostitute when Hosea came along and he was not considered an adulterer by God for marrying her. We also see that with Rahab.

I do see that there is a “oneness” of flesh in regards to sexual intimacy, but it does not appear that sexual relations=marriage…………”

So, the take home is that two people having sexual intercourse does not make them married in the eyes of God, it makes them two people who have sinned; committed fornication. This is from the end of the article in the first link---So, what constitutes marriage in God’s eyes? It would seem that the following principles should be followed: 1) As long as the requirements are reasonable and not against the Bible, a man and a woman should seek whatever formal governmental recognition is available. 2) A man and a woman should follow whatever cultural, familial, and covenantal practices are typically employed to recognize a couple as “officially married.” 3) If possible, a man and a woman should consummate the marriage sexually, fulfilling the physical aspect of the “one flesh” principle.

Frankly, I didn’t know there was so much confusion about what makes people married. If you have committed fornication, you are NOT considered married, however you should want to be married because there is nothing better and it is the what God designs most of us for, by far. I am exceeding glad that I am married to my Love Beyond The Sea.