Marriage Advice

How Important is Sex in Marriage?

published on

I’m going to be hitting some topics from a longer upload I made in response to an article called Sex-free marriage anyone? Welcome to the new trend for the wokeys: marrying your best friend. Would you want to sign up for that? I don’t think this is marriage at all. People have been trying to modify or make an idea of marriage that suits them even though it goes against the grain of what has been the norm for a very long time, say the beginning of time. Today I want to talk about this and other ways the marriage bed is being defiled these days. Make no mistake about it, when you marry, sex is an obligation. It is also a great pleasure and gift a husband and wife give to each other.

Subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea. I think marriage is a big deal and a great deal, I love being married and for awhile wasn’t sure it was going to happen. You can see a lot about that on my videos but today I want to focus on sex in marriage.

60 “Marriage is not about two people who are romantically involved with each other. Not anymore. A new trend of ‘platonic marriages’ is emerging and there’s absolutely no need to get hot and sticky beneath the bed sheets. Ever.” I think not being romantically involved with each other is just plain weird, don’t you? That just isn’t normal. I like normal. Normal is good. I assume “romantically” they are primarily referring to sexual relations.

I want to look at the word “involved”, romantically “involved”. People’s sex drives are not the same but there needs to be involvement. I believe that even in an age gap relationship, sexual or romantic involvement is required. If the older husband can not fulfill his responsibility to her sexually, then I would question why they got married, especially from her side of things. That is because I believe sexual or romantic involvement is an essential part of being married. It is not fair for the woman to not be satisfied. It doesn’t take much for a man to be satisfied, but his little woman has needs too.

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

From"Sex" Is Not A Dirty Word

In Hebrews 13:4 we read, "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled." The word for "bed" in this verse is the Greek word koitee, from which we get our English word coitus (sexual intercourse). All that is done for the mutual pleasure of husbands and wives on the marital bed is "honorable." What was a "Thou shalt not" during their courtship is now a "Thou shalt" in marriage.

Even in her old age, Sarah desired to be with her husband, Abraham. When told she was going to bear a child, she said, "After I have grown old, shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?" (Gen. 24:5).

It simply amazes me how something as wonderful as marriage and sex can be so corrupted.

The American home is in trouble today. The statistics are rather depressing:

26% of all American babies are born to unwed mothers

There are 1.5 million abortions performed in this country every year

81% of all abortions are the end result of fornication (18% are because of convenience, social or economic reasons and less than 1% are due to rape, incest, health problems of the mother or fetal handicap)

"Nearly half of America's 2.4 million marriages last year involved remarriage of at least one of the partners, up from 31 percent in 1970 to 46 percent in 1990, according to the National Center of Health Statistics. The center also found that 64 percent of divorced women remarry and 25 percent of women who divorced and remarried divorced a second time" (Pulpit Helps, July 1991)

60% of all men and 40% of all women have been unfaithful to their spouse

Marriage failures due to sexual problems could be as high as 75 to 80 percent

And this is just the tip of the iceberg. For every divorce, there are dozens of unhappy marriages held together by children, business or economic needs. If you are a Christian, you must be concerned about the deterioration of the family in our country.

Here on Love Beyond The Sea, a channel for mature marriage-minded men, I want to do my small part to help people get married. I have had personal discussions with people, mostly young men, which is very gratifying for me because these young guys are growing up with unprecedented confusion about basic things like marriage and commitment. It is okay to question where ideas come from and what I say here is from the Bible; I support what I say by the Word of God. What else is there? Human wisdom? I don’t think so.

A marriage bed can be defiled in several ways: (from

1. Fornication. When two unmarried people engage in sexual intercourse, they are defiling God’s good gift of sex. Those who have not vowed themselves to each other in a binding lifetime union have no right to exploit the culmination of such a vow. Sex was designed to be the final act of consecration when a couple pledge their lives to each other in a sacred covenant. All forms of sexuality outside a marriage union are bringing dishonor to the honorable institution of marriage (1 Corinthians 6:18).

2. Adultery. When one or both parties in a sexual union are married to someone else, God calls their sexual acts adultery. Adultery was punishable by death under God’s Old Covenant with Israel (Deuteronomy 22:22Leviticus 20:10). Even though we no longer live under that covenant, adultery is still high on God’s list of moral evils (Matthew 5:2832) and is always named as a sin that keeps unrepentant offenders from inheriting the kingdom of God (Galatians 5:191 Corinthians 6:9).

3. Homosexuality. Another defilement of the marriage bed is the perversion of men having sex with men or women with women. Despite our world’s current embrace of homosexual practice, this vile act has never been and will never be sanctioned or blessed by God. Homosexuality is a distortion of God’s gift of physical unity between husband and wife and is the only sexual activity labeled an abomination (Leviticus 20:13). The prohibition against homosexuality carries right into the New Covenant, as it is listed with those sins that keep the unrepentant out of the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:91 Timothy 1:9–10Jude 1:7).

4. ProstitutionProverbs 7 gives a detailed look at the destruction that comes upon a young man who allows himself to be seduced by a harlot. The sin of harlotry is often used as a metaphor for unfaithful Israel (Hosea 4:15Jeremiah 3:8Judges 8:33). Christians are warned to avoid such immorality because of the sacredness of the marriage bed (1 Corinthians 6:15–16Ephesians 5:3).

5. Pornography. Using pornography for sexual gratification is a more modern way to defile the marriage bed. Pornographic books, videos, sexting, and the use of other sexually explicit materials also defile the sanctity of the sexual union between a man and wife. Porn has the effect of bringing strangers into the bedroom, even if only through the eyes. Jesus warned that lust associated with looking at a woman is equivalent to adultery before God (Matthew 5:28). Pornography has elevated sexual lust to an art form, but it is still corrupting to the heart and a sinful defiling of the sexual act.

God created human beings to be pure in body and spirit. Sexual union between a husband and wife was a part of that purity (Genesis 2:24–25). When Adam and Eve sinned, sexuality was tainted along with everything else. Jesus purchased the power to reclaim that purity through His sacrificial death on the cross (2 Corinthians 5:21). No sin, including sexual immorality, is too great for the power of that atoning death and resurrection to pardon. Even though we may have defiled the marriage bed in many ways, God can restore sexual purity and holiness when we repent and commit our lives to following Him (Psalm 51:71 John 1:7).

Here is more on the necessity for married couples to have sex (I can’t believe we even need to talk about this, but is is the year 2021). 1 Corinthians 7 Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 

Proverbs 5-

15 Drink water from your own cistern,
    running water from your own well.
16 Should your springs overflow in the streets,
    your streams of water in the public squares?
17 Let them be yours alone,
    never to be shared with strangers.
18 May your fountain be blessed,
    and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 A loving doe, a graceful deer—
    may her breasts satisfy you always,
    may you ever be intoxicated with her love.
20 Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man’s wife?
    Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman?

21 For your ways are in full view of the Lord,
    and he examines all your paths.
22 The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them;
    the cords of their sins hold them fast.
23 For lack of discipline they will die,
    led astray by their own great folly.

It should be clear here, that if you are married, then you are responsible to provide sex to your spouse and they are responsible to provide it to you. The more kind and supportive you are, the more sex you are likely to get.

And what about “not anymore” when the article talked about marriage not being for two people who are romantically involved with each other? Says who? As I have shown, the Bible doesn’t say married people can say no to each other. Obviously, there are times of sickness and women have periods but saying no needs to have a very good reason and the reason for that is that in marriage, sex is for the other person. Let me say that again, sex is for the other person.

The best can’t be improved upon and that is marriage with one man, one woman, for life, no exceptions. Platonic marriage? Hard pass. Not endorsed by Love Beyond The Sea.

Christian Filipina Asian Ladies Dating 728x90 4th version leaderboardChristian Filipina Asian Ladies Dating 728x90 wide animated banner 1