How to communicate with your Filipina wife. Here are just some of the verses I talk about in this live stream that all of us can use anywhere, especially in a marriage.
Psalm 19:14-“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. The Bible has so much to say about acceptable speech, that is where we need to look.
Luke 6:45 says “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of..” This is a chilling commentary. Ultimately, our speech like any behavior, is about the heart. This is all of us, only God can soften our hearts.
1 Peter 3:10-”For whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it.” One could easily substitute “For whoever desires to have a good marriage, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it.” I believe the husband should take the lead in pursuing peace in his Filipina relationship. Saying I’m sorry is always important. Not expecting her to be perfect helps too.
Proverbs 18:21 warns us “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” We have probably all been in arguments or heard couples argue and fight. I have called the police twice in my life because I heard other couples arguing and it got so bad.. It is one thing to have a heated and necessary discussion about something urgent or exceedingly critical when there is disagreement, but it is another thing to use threatening, harsh, demeaning language. That kind of communication erodes the relationship, it kills slowly. It may be easier for a person to remember hurtful words than helpful ones.
Like when they were called names or engaged in an argument that got personal, where things were said that should not have been said, that someone may not even have believed, but just wanted to wound the other person. That can sting for a long time and may never be forgotten, even when pleasant words are spoken. Pleasant, healthy words need to be used regularly. In my opinion it might take 50 good words to overcome a hurtful one. Saying or hearing “I hate you”, “I don’t love you”, “you’re no good”, “you’re stupid”, “will you ever learn?”, or “maybe our marriage was a mistake” or “so and so’s wife is better at…”, always injure, and the more they are repeated, the deeper the wound. Even if words or statements aren’t necessarily corrosive, the volume or manner they are expressed can cause harm.
How about these statements-“I love you”, I love you no matter what”, “I need you”, “you are so good to me”, “I am glad I married you”, “I forgive you”, “I am sorry”, “I am so fulfilled”, “I am satisfied with you”, “you make my life complete”, or “I am so glad God brought us together”? That’s not to even mention words of thanksgiving for every little thing you can think of that your wife does that you appreciate.
I hope my wife thinks that every time I see her I will have something good to say. I make it a habit to message my wife at lunch to tell her I enjoyed or am thankful for the specific things she packed for me to eat. I am grateful for what she cooked and I am thankful how she organized it. I am sure she likes to hear it. Another habit is telling her I love her before I even get out of bed in the morning.
I try to say it before going to bed but one time I was tired and wanted to go to sleep and my wife, who gets up later than I do and was looking at her phone, said softly “you didn’t tell me you love me” in a tone that suggested she was asking why. She is used to me saying I love you and that’s the way I want it.
This is how I want to communicate with my Love Beyond the Sea!