Relationship Advice

How to Not Take Your Filipina for Granted

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I like to write articles and make videos to help a foreign man look for a Filipina to marry. I have heard too many stories of men giving up on marriage in the west and a lot from men who found a decent spouse in southeast Asia, myself marrying a Filipina in 2015. The Philippines can be a place to find a sweet and caring woman to be with for the rest of your life. Please subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea to see if a Filipina might be someone for you to pursue or if you already have one.

Today’s topic is simply to not take your Filipina for granted. Go ahead and leave a comment if you have a method for this. Don’t forget to get notifications for upcoming videos. I have podcasts on Podbean called Casting Beyond The Sea and my advise applies to any woman. In other words, don’t take your wife for granted.

I waited 30 years to meet my wife, looking for someone in America yielded no fruit. I married my wife in not even eight weeks. What a relief that was and what a blessing she has been to me, but I can see where a good Filipina can be taken for granted and that shouldn’t be.

It is possible to bask in how good a wife she is (not perfect of course) that she could be taken for granted, as the initial euphoria of meeting her and marrying her wears off. Those moments are super special, but only happen that initial time. So, what can be done to not take her for granted? I will start with the most painful one for me.

Time apart-You know what they say about absence, it makes the heart grow fonder. It can be rough I know. In January of 2019 my wife and I were apart for the first time in over three years as she visited the Philippines without me to take care of some business. I could tell I was starting to be bothered by this, days before I drove her to the airport. I would never desire to do this, but we needed to and I survived. Being apart for the first time was a bit depressing, but I could count down the days until she returned.

Not only does being apart affect one emotionally, but it also requires doing things you have been used to her doing, just ordinary things like cooking, washing the clothes, anything that she had taken responsibility for.

Habits-One idea is to come up with certain acts that you decide to do no matter what. Developing good habits can help you to not take her for granted. I hope my wife expects me to say I love her before I get out of bed each morning. She has told me I am regimented (she’s not the first one) so I thought “why not start to consistently do things she will like?) One day at work she texted me and asked why I didn’t tell her I loved her before I left for work. She was still asleep and I didn’t want to wake her. I will link a video in the description box that details some habits I don’t want to break in order to hold our marriage together. She knows that if my behavior is consistent, then I am not taking her for granted.

Keep photos visible-Growing up I know my mother had a photo album or two, but they seemed to only get opened on rare occasions. Since marrying my Filipina, I have come to appreciate having photos being very visible. She has framed a lot of pictures and as far as I am concerned can’t do it enough! I would like them all over the place. I am surrounded by them where I sit here in the Love Beyond The Sea studios. I am sure she knows that whenever I work on a video that I am remembering her in a good way.

Remind yourself how things used to be-Another idea to not take her for granted is to remind yourself that you are not living like you were before, things are better now. I know that sounds simple but it can easily be forgotten once the tide turns for the better, but it’s something to think about. Don’t forget how tough you used to have it before you met her. Having said that, we should also remind ourselves the new and improved relationship you are experiencing isn’t ever going to be perfect.

I am on record of saying that my wife has made me completely forget about the distress of being alone for thirty years, which she said she would do, nevertheless, there are reminders from time to time such as driving by all the places I lived during that time or even running into certain people. I should make those occasions a time to be thankful how things have changed, while avoiding going through negative emotions from those experiences. We go through painful circumstances for a reason, and I am not going to take my Amazing Aiza for granted. I prayed for her for a very long time.

Don’t live like you are single-The Filipina you chased after from across the world will feel taken for granted if you live with her without making adjustments to what you used to do with your time. Something might have to be dropped, something might need to be lessened but I believe your wife is now your main relationship and comes before the others.

You can’t just do whatever you want anymore. You are responsible for the growth and health of your marriage as the husband, so do all you can to nurture the relationship. If she needs something, get it for her. If she wants to experience something, do it with her. Support her dreams, encourage her to push herself to accomplish something she is a little hesitant to do. Help build her confidence.

Love life-Initial passion may reduce over time but make sure it isn’t because something else is getting in the way. I believe the Bible is clear that sexual pleasure is an obligation, and a good one! She is your one and only lover so do all you can to please her. If you treat her right, your sex life won’t be your biggest concern.

Be careful to not avoid each other with social media use-Nothing makes one feel neglected and taken for granted like being snubbed for social media. We all need time to ourselves, I like to retreat to a good football game or basketball game, but I must be there for my wife and she must know that her needs come before mine. If you are big believer in self-love, that won’t sound appealing but if you want to stay married and not take your wife for granted, she will need her time to herself too.

Healthy words-Another way to keep from taking your Filipina for granted is to become adept at complimenting her regularly. You might be used to how she is consistently preparing food for both of you, but why not tell her each time she cooks that you appreciate it? If you are sincere with your compliments, I think she will never tire of hearing it. Before you married being complimentary was easy and you wanted her to know you appreciated her, but to stop doing this could cause her to think you are now taking her for granted.

Know where each other is-This is very important to me. I can’t think of a good reason for us to not know where the other person is. I am not suggesting stalking or micromanaging, just a simple text or email or post it note. I tend to worry about my wife if I don’t know where she is, not because I don’t trust her, but because I am afraid that she got into an accident. I feel much better getting a text from work at a break to know she is safe and sound.

Vacations-Being able to look forward to some trips together will help your Filipina wife feel appreciated and not taken for granted. Remember that getting married is only the start of your relationship, or at least it is taking it to another level, and annually being able to go places together is good for your marriage. If my wife wants to see a particular city, then I do what I can to make it happen.

Your health-One last way to prevent your Filipina from feeling she is being taken for granted is to try to stay healthy, to take care of yourself. If you know of other things that work for you, please leave a comment.

These are some ways to show continued interest in your love beyond the sea!

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