Relationship Advice

Negative Comments about Filipinas!

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Recently I was watching a Tik Tok video (I am on Tik Tok now by the way) and saw a guy talking about his costs for marrying his wife; the wedding, immigration, vacation etc. Then I saw there were over 900 comments and I stopped after scrolling awhile because they were all negative. Such as “she will leave you”, just wait until after so and so many years”, “she will split after green card or citizenship”, “you will go broke after her family cleans you out asking for money” and so on. This sort of behavior happens all over the world so I don’t think the Filipinas are solely to blame. In fact, I don’t care to waste time blaming anyone, I just want things to get fixed or prevent problems from starting.

Please subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea for straight talk to men about marriage to a Filipina. I don’t claim to know it all, but I’ve been married to a woman from the Philippines for six and a half years and we got married extremely fast; in less than eight weeks. What matters is what matters and I like to cover topics that are pertinent in a marriage to a woman.

With such a plethora of comments of impending doom, one would wonder why it is so popular still for a man to look thousands of miles for a wife. I mean, if it is guaranteed to end in disaster, then how is it that many such couples are doing well? Good results don’t just happen by accident, marriage to any woman requires the same skills with different emphasis depending on a variety of factors. Marrying someone from another country and culture, perhaps there is an age gap, and you have a recipe for…a solid and mutually satisfying marriage! It happens, still.

When people read such comments, they would rightfully never think about marrying a woman from the Philippines, if only they were true. Again, marrying for the wrong reasons and not wanting to bother working on the marriage, can happen anywhere. Many couples make it work, it always takes a team effort and a lot of time to develop even a martial relationship.

Sometimes men are not prepared for the culture of family and his potential wife needing to help her family financially. Maybe they assume Filipinas have low standards, accept anyone with white skin, and really don’t care about an age gap. Perhaps these men assume she will be perfectly content at home doing nothing after immigration. I just say this over here, the man is the leader of the family, the marriage. He makes a wise choice to begin with so the transition to a new normal with him is easier than if he had made a bad choice. Then he gives it his all and never gives up on her or the relationship. He cherishes this woman. If he thinks she is going to always be lovable and agreeable then he is out of his mind, as no one is like that. Not even a sweet, caring, beautiful Filipina.

Look for character, look for what she emphasizes in her life, what are her friends like, does she work, go to church, what kind of clothes does she wear in her profile photos, does she avoid saying I love you until it is appropriate, does she avoid asking you for money are good questions. You know she’s pretty and that’s great and all, but that has absolutely nothing to do with how she is talked to, if she is encouraged and supported and yes, the physical is important too. If he loves this woman, I think even if he didn’t make the best choice in who to marry, she may still stay with him! Still.

All of these comments seemed to blame the women, I didn’t see a single comment where maybe the guy…oh well, you usually don’t hear any responsibility taken. I have to look in the mirror every day and tell myself that I pursued, proposed, married and immigrated her here, so as the CEO, I am to make it work and this is a marriage-long process made decision by decision, circumstance after circumstance.

Before anyone starts pointing fingers, consider who started the whole thing by clicking on a photo or a profile or initiating a chat request or a webcam. Those were they days; I look back on them fondly. You have the chance to pick a good one, one you can work with and be totally committed to her and you’ve probably found a lifelong love beyond the sea.

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