With the name Love Beyond The Sea, I need to go where few men dare to go, to define love. To define it and put it in terms that men who want to marry a Filipina or are married to a Filipina can sit back and soak some of it in. I will link a video I made called “How to love your Filipina wife” in the description box. This is heavy duty stuff. If the things I describe today are implemented consistently, it will help make for a great marriage. It is going to take time but will always pay off.
Please subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea for some practical help with marriage to a Filipina which is what I hope you will do if you haven’t already. Sometimes it can be intense and uncomfortable, but I am relying on the word of God, the Bible, written by the one who makes people and designs the way they respond to certain behaviors. Your comments are welcome.
Advertisements tell you that nothing says I love you more than several months of wages for a diamond ring. What I will tell you here over the next week are 17 ways to show love to your Filipina that don’t cost a peso. We are going to learn something tonight!
By being patient-When someone is impatient with me, I definitely do not feel loved. Being impatient with someone sends the message that they are stupid and unimportant, not loved. Showing patience lets them know that they are valuable and you believe in them. I wonder how many people have not been able to accomplish something great because of the impatience of someone close to them. It may have been a coach who pushed a player too hard, a teacher who drove a student crazy because they just weren’t patient enough. In some cases, being impatient with someone comes from not getting what you want, when you want it.
Someone who is impatient will lose their temper frequently, frustrate others, and not be able to maintain good relationships. Someone could have a great personality and a good income, and not be able to sustain a relationship with a Filipina if they are not patient. She might stay with him initially, but eventually a lack of patience will wear anyone down. I think being patient is listing first in the “love chapter” 1 Corinthians 13 because it is foundational, very challenging, and is established and proven over time.
I am by nature very impatient and that includes with myself. Being patient will help with some other things I will mention later. Being patient requires strength. The Filipina you are dating or married to will definitely feel loved if you are patient with her, and that works both ways. I can tell my wife I love her but she won’t feel that way if I lose patience easily. Actions speak louder than words. I can buy my wife a lot of nice things, we can have a good house, but if I am impatient then she will feel unloved.
A Filipina will find a patient man an attractive man. Being patient allows her to reach her highest potential in every way. If my wife makes mistakes then I want her to know from experience that I will not blast her for it or put her down. That’s got to take a lot to recover from especially the more it happens. Being patient pays off. That’s the way I look at it. The more patient I can be, the more my wife will feel comfortable me and loved, and be able to achieve the potential she has, especially in being a wife.
What challenges are there for a foreigner with a Filipina that can test his patience? The differences in culture, her ability to speak and understand English, any differences related to an age gap, monetary needs of her family, and adaptation to a new country cover quite a few of them. Being patient is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength. It recognizes full well that something is not up to par and needs to improve, or was hurtful, but can persevere while encouraging change. It is being in control of yourself for the good of the relationship.
Imagine teaching her how to drive without patience. It will take patience when she seems to be spending too much time on social media, but then you realize she is far away from home she is and the things she is familiar with. When she is upset by rude and jealous coworkers, you can’t just tell her to suck it up and get over it. It may take her a long time to get used to the cold weather. Being patient might be the quality you need most early on with your Filipina and you will always need to be patient.
By being kind-We often get caught up in giving money as a sign of love. Christmas has become commercialized; we give gifts we might not want to and receive gifts we don’t like or want. We throw someone a little money to assuage feelings of guilt. It will take more than money to make a Filipina feel loved. Just in general being kind will help your Filipina to feel safe around you, and want to be with you since you are kind.
“Put her morning coffee in a thermos. Hold her hand when walking down the street or whatever. Write or draw something stupid on a Post-It note. Stick it to the fridge or the door or the bathroom mirror — wherever she’s likely to see it and laugh. What was the thing she used to love to do before you had kids? Make plans to do that thing. Don’t bother her when she’s reading. Make her lunch for her. Buy some good lotion and rub her back or feet or whatever aches. Wear an outfit she loves. Even if it’s the one with the collared shirt underneath the sweater that makes you look like the guy who always gets broken up with in movies. When you come home, say “There’s my beautiful bride!” Fix that thing you know needs to be fixed. Go to the movie she really wants to see. If you don’t enjoy it, and she did, keep it to yourself. Have some favorite dresses or shirts or shoes that she wears and comment on them repeatedly until they’re special. Make sure her electronics are charged or charging. Remind her she doesn’t have to be everything to everyone. Have other friends. Hang out with them sometimes. Do that one chore they hate doing. Don’t make a big deal about the fact you did it. Try — really try — to make her laugh. Hug her for at least 30 seconds. Tell her she’s a great mother. Be specific. Try: “Watching you bathe the kids earlier made me realize what a wonderful mom you are.” Paste her toothbrush if you’re both getting ready around the same time. Give her a kiss as soon as you walk in the door. Or, if you work from home, head to her for a kiss when she enters. Tell her she’s sexy. You are the one person she wants to hear this from. Gush about her in front of her friends. Tell her a way that she’s grown in the past year that’s impressed you a lot. Maybe something she’s overcome or an old habit she’s shaken. Tell her you’re proud of her.”
I have put some of these into use after reading this.
By being positive-Obviously focusing on the positive in a relationship is more helpful than focusing on the negative but when we are upset or feel wronged, we tend to dwell on the negative. As the leader of the home, I want to be positive and this isn’t easy. I tend to be perfectionistic, in fact, virtually everyone in my family is that way. You know what I mean, something is never good enough, something bad could happen, have got to do it better etc. I can see how this can damage a relationship. If I want my relationship with Aiza to work, I have to take the lead and be positive. I do not mean to say be unrealistic. She will feel loved when I am positive, for example-
Praising her for how she is adjusting to your country as she progresses. Complimenting her on anything and everything, this reinforces her behavior. When she misses home, remind her she can visit there. Encouraging her to continue education in something. Let her know you believe you can work through any issue together. If she is down on herself, reassure her. If she is struggling with something, tell her she can do it, and be patient.
When my wife was trying to adjust to working in America, she would tell me what her struggles were. That was a golden opportunity for me to let her know that she was talented, bright and skilled, with a great attitude and work ethic. I told her she is what all supervisors wish they had more of.
That’s it for now. Don’t forget to subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea and you can find my website at lvbts.com. After talking about being patient, kind and positive today, I will have nine more in another video soon. There are many ways to show you care about your love beyond the sea.