When I began to look for a Filipina wife online, my goal was to get married and I didn’t think much further ahead than that. Going through the visa process was a matter of “hurry up and wait”, then when she arrived in America after eight months, we were finally together, continuing to get to know each other. So much anticipation to get started and thinking about the present, but it’s also important to consider the future. Please subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea for insights about many aspects of a foreigner and Filipina relationship. There are podcasts on Casting Beyond the Sea you can subscribe to on Podbean and my website is lvbts.com.
It would be tempting to finally be together, then the foreigner kind of settle into the lifestyle he had before they got married, which would be a mistake. If he married someone from his own country, probably same city, she would already have been able to work on her future plans and her husband would be aware of them and it is possible they have discussed their future plans for being together. The Filipina might have absolutely no idea of her future there in her new country and how her future fits in with her husband’s.
In order to build a strong, lasting relationship with a Filipina you have petitioned to your country, a lot of time will need to be spent together early on, and that could be for a couple of years. There will be a lot discovered about each other when they are actually living under the same roof and have responsibilities to each other. An important part eventually needs to be a blending or combination of their future plans. This is made a little complicated if there is a large age gap, which there usually is, because they don’t plan on dying at nearly the same time.
If you have plans for your future, I hope that your Filipina wife can be involved with that and be interested in it. Since she has grown up in a different country, sharing something with you might mean learning something completely new. She might like it or hate it. Plans she had in the Philippines have been interrupted or eliminated by marrying a foreign man and moving to his country. If his plans included 18 holes of golf a day, she isn’t likely to be able to participate. If it is to do activities outside in the sun, she might not be interested because many Filipinas do not want their skin to get darker.
You are aware that transitioning from being single to being married involves a major shift in priorities. It is possible you had a bucket list or at least a list of things you’ve been waiting to involve yourself in for a long time and haven’t thought about how this might affect marrying a Filipina. Somehow, you’ll need to find a way to integrate her into your future plans, in a way that she wants to be involved with. I will tell you how I am going about this, and it may not be for everyone, but for me it is the simplest and I think will be the most satisfying.
My perspective is that I will try to invest myself into her plans for the future. I have spent most of my life already doing what I want but now that I am married to a younger, beautiful Filipina, who is not from America, I think she deserves my best effort into investing in her life. That means that I want to have future plans with her that are important to her. I prefer that over doing my own thing. She isn’t just an addition to my life, she and I have formed a union, her happiness and fulfillment is more important to me than my own.
If we intend to travel somewhere, I will opt to go where she wants to go. I had my chances over the years to travel, but had no one to travel with. Now that I am married, I’d like to see some places, but not without my wife. We went to Paris for our second wedding anniversary and I really would like to go back again. It is only nine hours of flights from where we live in Nebraska. That’s nothing compared to the 28 or more hours to get to the Philippines, if you can do it that fast.
They have to be places she wants to see. How about Rome? That sounds like fun. It could be Singapore or Malaysia on the way back from the Philippines. She would like to see Canada. There have been many places around the Midwest of the U.S. we have seen like Minnesota, South Dakota, North Dakota, Kansas, Colorado, and here in Nebraska. My experience has been that I have always enjoyed it, my baby knows how to pick the spots.
At one time we seriously considered retiring in the Philippines, which would have been another way of making future plans together, but that does not look likely anymore, at least not while I am alive.
Since I am older than my wife, I made the decision to invest myself in helping her with her dreams. That does not mean that I am losing out in any way; it means that under the circumstances, I am devoting my time to help her in her new life in America, where she now considers her home.
I am supporting her in her endeavor to get a college degree here in the U.S. because it will be helpful to her future. I don’t mind helping her with any homework I can be of help with. She is good at math and algebra, but she has been on her own there, that is not something I am good at.
The main thing is to realize that as a married couple, you need to live and think like a married couple, not two formerly single people living together. It is more complicated than that. Please leave comments on how you can or have integrated your future goals to include your Filipina wife. This channel can be useful to you even if you are interested in a woman from another part of the world, so please subscribe, I have a lot of videos and playlists to help you out.
Having future plans together is best for me and my love beyond the sea.