“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain, and most do.”-Dale Carnegie. Is complaining foolish? Yes, if you think it’s going to be of any help. If you are interested in marrying a Filipina or already have, learning to avoid complaining will go a long way to help the success of your relationship. That’s what Love Beyond The Sea is about. Subscribe and share so more men can find love beyond the sea.
Complaining is expressing dissatisfaction and finding faults, and not a good strategy with the Filipina you are wanting to show you are the type of man she should marry. Now, mentioning them in the right way is different than complaining.
“How to communicate with your Filipina wife” is a live stream I will link for you.
While complaining is a way to communicate, it isn’t a good one. The Bible is against complaining. I complain too much. No one likes a complainer. When a man is with a woman, especially one from another culture, there is potential for complaining because of so many differences. I think it is helpful to remember that differences in each other should make for a better, more well-rounded relationship. There is a saying about compatibility that if the two of you are the same then one of you isn’t needed. Commonality is good, especially in areas that really matter, but I don’t think you want everything in common either. What possibly could a foreign man complain about with a beautiful Filipina?
Her energy-You might resent it if you feel like you can’t keep up with her in something, that she is always on the go. Appreciate it and realize if she is a lot younger, she will not tire out as fast. She may be able to stay up a lot longer than you can. I wish my wife and I operated on the same internal clock but we don’t. She is a night-owl, I am an early-bird. I have had to learn how to deal with this. This helps me not be so grouchy at the end of the day when she still has “something left in the tank”. My wife is going to school and working full-time. I want to support her, not complain about her.
Her taste in music-Yes, this could be an issue with some couples. If her foreigner husband is older and digs music from the 50s and 60s for example, his Filipina wife probably has never heard those songs before. She might be into something completely modern. Fortunately for us, we both like songs from the 70s, some modern artists, and we both like music from the Philippines. I think she would like older songs too. Our taste in music is fairly similar.
Her time on social media. I have a video about social media I will link for you. She is probably used to spending a lot of time using her phone for social media and I don’t see that going away. If you are a typical guy, you don’t see the point in all that. Complaining about that won’t change anything. She will feel the need to stay in touch with family and friends, especially early on after immigrating. I actually enjoy seeing my wife communicate with other Filipina friends of hers. When I am around when she does a webcam with her family, I like to join in the best I can.
Her speaking Filipino a lot-It is possible at first you could find it irritating to hear a foreign language a lot but you married a foreigner so that’s just part of the deal.
The food she eats-You shouldn’t expect her to stop eating white rice even after you’ve told her it is unhealthy compared to other kinds of rice. Maybe you won’t like the smell of some things she cooks. It would be helpful to try to embrace the Filipino foods she may like to cook.
Sending money back home-I suppose this is the thing that many foreigners married to a Filipina complain about the most. I believe the man should allow his wife to help them as much as possible if she has a job, and to help out himself at times. This will always be a sensitive topic which can lead to harsh words. If you have been to the Philippines, you know why she is sending money back home, and considering the family dynamics, she may feel like she should send home a lot.
In general, hearing constant complaining is hard on anyone (except the person complaining apparently) and after a while makes it hard for someone’s complaints to be taken seriously. If you can find a solution to something that’s great but if you can’t, accepting it is all you can do. I think it is completely unrealistic to think now that she in your country, that she will be so grateful to start her new life that her family is now on her own. That’s unrealistic; she loves her country.
The Philippines-You certainly don’t want to make the mistake of complaining about the Philippines to her. I have been there four times so I have an idea of how it is different than America. That doesn’t make America better, especially to her. She will miss the Philippines a lot for an undetermined amount of time, and will not take well to her husband if he complains that she isn’t getting with it fast enough. I will link a video about dealing with her homesickness.
It would be easy to complain about the heat, the slow pace, the traffic, the means of transportation and anything else you are not used to, but remember, she is used to all of that and likely doesn’t complain about it and will be turned off if the man in her life does.
Try to be understanding, be supportive, don’t avoid talking about something when it is important. Look for solutions instead of complaints. It will help in the long run with your love beyond the sea.