Relationship Advice

Avoid Complaining About Your Filipina

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By complaining-Being impatient can certainly lead to complaining and although complaining is a way to communicate, it isn’t a good one. The Bible is against complaining. I complain too much. No one likes a complainer. When a man is with a woman, especially one from another culture, there is potential for complaining because of so many differences. What possibly could a foreign man complain about with a beautiful Filipina?

Her energy-You might resent it if you feel like you can’t keep up with her in something, that she is always on the go. Appreciate it and realize if she is a lot younger, she will not tire out as fast. She may be able to stay up a lot longer than you can. I wish my wife and I operated on the same internal clock but we don’t. She is a night-owl, I am an early-bird. Her taste in music-Yes, this could be an issue with some couples. If her foreigner husband is older and digs music from the 50s and 60s for example, his Filipina wife probably has never heard those songs before. She might be into something completely modern.

Fortunately for us, we both like songs from the 70s, some modern artists, and we both like music from the Philippines. Her time on social media. She is probably used to spending a lot of time using her phone for social media and I don’t see that going away. If you are a typical guy you don’t see the point in all that. Complaining about that won’t change anything. She will feel the need to stay in touch with family and friends, especially early on after immigrating. I actually enjoy seeing my wife communicate with other Filipina friends of hers. Her speaking Filipino a lot-It is possible at first you could find it irritating to hear a foreign language a lot but you married a foreigner so that’s just part of the deal. The food she eats-You shouldn’t expect her to stop eating white rice even after you’ve told her it is unhealthy compared to other kinds of rice. Maybe you won’t like the smell of some things she cooks. It would be helpful to try to embrace the Filipino foods she may like to cook. Sending money back home-I suppose this is the thing that many foreigners married to a Filipina complain about the most. I believe the man should allow his wife to help them as much as possible if she has a job, and to help out himself at times. This will always be a sensitive topic which can lead to harsh words. If you have been to the Philippines you know why she is sending money back home, and considering the family dynamics, she may feel like she should send home a lot. The Philippines-You certainly don’t want to make the mistake of complaining about the Philippines to her. I have been there three times so I have an idea of how it is different than in America.

That doesn’t make America better, especially to her. She will miss the Philippines a lot for an undetermined amount of time, and will not take well to her husband if he complains that she isn’t getting with it fast enough. It would be easy to complain about the heat, the slow pace, the traffic, the means of transportation and anything else you are not used to, but remember, she is used to all of that and likely doesn’t complain about it and will be turned off if the man in her life does. By being unkind-This could be a lot of things and is similar to complaining. It is difficult for me to understand why someone would want to say unkind things. I can understand ignoring things she is doing that deserve kind words, but saying unkind things?

This is a good way to break up a marriage. I am acutely aware I have said some things out of frustration that I regretted. I think being married for over four years now has helped us to understand each other better and be more careful with our words. Early on is where you will get tested. Saying something like “you’re not very bright” will only make another man look more desirable that thinks she is bright. Saying “I don’t really like the way you decorate the house” or “I don’t like the clothes you want me to wear” or “I don’t like the food you cook” are a put down to her and will only deteriorate her desire to do something she considers nice for you.

I think that unkind words would be words that respond negatively to something she does that is meant to be kind to you.

Saying “you always…” is rarely true. “You always do…” is likely not true, not all the time.

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