You might want to know that if you bring a woman from the Philippines on a spousal or fiancé visa, that you are doing that with the type of woman who is known for her resilience and adaptability to another country and culture. Today I want to illustrate some ways I have seen that with my wife of over five years.
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When marrying a foreign woman, her ability to adapt to a new country so far away is always a concern. Not only that, but the weather might be much different, the currency is different, her family and friends are out of reach other than through social media or web cam. Your Filipina’s English might need some work. She might feel that people talk too fast here for her to pick up what they are saying.
There is no “Philippine time” here as being on time is an expectation. There are different foods for her to get used to, and a different culture. People live much more spread out. I remember my wife asking me “where are the neighbors?” when driving around one day. I told her they were probably inside their houses. When I was a child, I remember neighbors regularly being out in the yard, going for walks, sitting on their porches, but that doesn’t seem to happen much these days. My wife and I should probably do something about that.
Probably the most significant and challenging adjustment your Filipina will need to make is being in a relationship with you, a man she might not know all that well, at least yet. You might have a significant age gap. If you do have a significant age gap, it is probably the first time you have and you probably aren’t exactly sure how that is going to work out.
I have some videos about being with a younger woman you might be interested in, you can find them in the playlist titled “Younger wife”. Before I continue here is a tip-treat her like a mature woman. She isn’t your daughter, she isn’t a child, she wants you to respect her for being a mature woman. Do that and you are off to a great start.
The good thing for a foreign man is that Filipinas have long displayed the ability to be resilient and adaptable to their new environments. I have a video out called “No small feat, American struggles for my Filipina wife.” I hope you realize “small feat” is a play on words for Filipinas who often have delightful small feet. In it I recall some early challenges for my wife. I also have another video you might find helpful called “Concerns we had about our relationship.” This channel is to help foreign men in a relationship with a Filipina.
Filipinas have found ways to live in many different countries through marriage or being an OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker). They are resilient and adaptable. Not all Filipinas want to leave the Philippines, but the ones that do or that make the choice to, have probably learned from the experience of others or they just do what they have to do, in order to provide for their families back home. This doesn’t mean she won’t be a good wife for you. Women are much better than men in being able to multi-task and many Filipinas are able to make this jump to another country and while learning how to adjust, be a faithful wife.
When my wife arrived here, there was a Fil-AM couple living right above us on the second floor. I had no idea they were there. It can get cold in Nebraska in the winter, but they were about to move to Alaska for his job. His wife seemed to be perfectly accepting of that change.
My wife has told others that she needs to be where her husband is. She told me she had never thought about living in the United States someday. In the Philippines, this is often not the case, as some Filipinas are working overseas to send money back to the Philippines. Some are married, some are not. I am glad my wife wants to be with me. She knows I don’t like to be apart from her. Sometimes I miss her after only a couple of hours.
My wife has adapted by getting a job, making our house a home and by being my wife. I don’t control her. I try to make her feel good about herself. I want to keep up with her family and I want to help them. These actions will help ease her transition into your country, which sometimes they make look so easy, but I am sure it is not as easy as they make it seem.
My wife has adapted to driving a car, she has adapted to knowing where places are here in town; she gets around like she has been here for a long time. She has adapted to my family and she has adapted to her work environment very well. I am very proud of her and tell her that often. I can’t really think of anything she has struggled learning to adapt to. As always, be ready and able to help her acclimate in any way she needs you to and ask her how she is doing.
Let me know if there are other ways Filipinas are resilient and adaptable. My wife has adapted well to being with her Love Beyond The Sea!
