Live - Make Marriage Great Again! What Needs to Happen
by Bobpublished on
This is a live stream that I hope will get you talking. It will end up in the Controversial Collection Playlist. Some of you will want you put on your steel toed shoes because I am apt to step on some toes tonight. I do not intend to offend anyone, but truth has been known to offend some people. Truth has also been known to guide people. I am going to be talking about making marriage great again. What do I mean by that? I know from the Bible in 1 Peter 3:7 that marriage is called “the grace of life”- Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Life is a wonderful gift, marriage is the best way, most fulfilling and edifying way for most people to live. Something this good should be celebrated and pursued with vigor and maybe at one point in history it was. It used to be normal to get married…to the opposite sex.
When I was young, it seemed that people got married but there was also divorce. My parents were divorced in the 70s so it was prevalent then but even more so now, it would seem. I didn’t grow up with two parents, at least not like it is supposed to be and frankly, didn’t see what I am sure they would have wanted me to see. You grow up knowing you want to see your parents getting along and teaching you, together.
Today in 2021 divorce is commonplace and almost an expectation if you listen to some. There was and perhaps still is, the MGTOW movement with men abstaining from marriage, even going so far as to “instruct” young men to stay single, to not get married. There is gay marriage, there is open marriage, there is cohabitation, there is adultery; so many aberrations that one wonders how anyone can grow up normal today. Toss the deceit of birth control into the mix and the pagan Planned Parenthood and they will “fix” any mistakes you make while going your own way.
I have to think the proliferation of pornography is contributing to men and now women, staying single as they fritter away their lives in fantasy. I have six podcasts on Casting Beyond The Sea that talk about pornography. It is not at all a temporary substitute or entertainment until you find someone, it is a good way to keep you single and make you impotent. Then there are love dolls and virtual mates that just keep you alone. How silly.
I would be remiss to not mention gender confusion. I am not confused but society is. God is not confused. He says there are two genders. Genesis 1-26,27-
26And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
27So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
64 Terms That Describe Gender Identity and Expression
Why does it matter?
Language and labels are important parts of understanding your gender and knowing how to be affirming and supportive of other people’s genders — but they can also be confusing. (it isn’t confusing with the Bible)
There are so many gender terms out there, many of which overlap. Some also have definitions that shift over time or across different sources of information. (the Bible doesn’t shift and change)
Thanks to the internet, we have more access to information, education, and visual representations of diverse genders — but comprehensive and inclusive resources about gender as a concept and this aspect of identity are still lacking. (not really, God has always known what he is talking about)
Having language that helps demonstrate the many ways people experience, express, or identify their gender allows us to more clearly see and understand the entire gender spectrum — including and beyond the traditional binary gender categories of man and woman. (again, the traditional categories exist for a reason)
What I teach all the time here is marriage. People talk about wanting love. Marriage is the place designed for that. It is the best place for learning how to love and being loved. Marriage doesn’t need to be fixed; people need to be fixed. Just because people are single so long doesn’t mean something is wrong with marriage.
Even in the church where I heard these sermons about how wonderful and necessary marriage was, when I sought help for how to cope with being single at 30, 40, 50, sometimes I was told that being single was best anyway. I had a pastor tell me that there was the sentiment that singles in their 40s were thought of as weird, like “Why don’t they want to be married?” Where is a guy to go today for some sanity?
Here on Love Beyond The Sea, I talk about how to BE married to a woman from the Philippines, however, the principles I talk about apply to any legitimate marriage. I found my love beyond the sea, my wife found her love beyond the sea. I want people to get married. I live in a time when there is significant pushback to that. Can marriage become the norm for normal people again? I sure am going to try to do what I can.
To the people who told me that “sex was just a really small part of marriage” I say ‘baloney’. You could say that doing the laundry is a part of marriage but it is so trivial compared to sex. Sex is a barometer of the marriage. If the marital relationship is healthy, the sex will be good. Sex is such a tremendous temptation as I have warned many times on Love Beyond The Sea, that I believe men and women should get married as fast as possible to avoid fornication i.e. sex before marriage.
In addition to that, sex is such a wonderful blessing to married people that I believe men and women should get married as fast as possible to experience it-in the right context of marriage, where they are in a safe place and protected from outside temptation and diseases.
1 Corinthians 7 says to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband. NOT, whenever you feel like you are ready for it, so that you do not have it before you are married. You are not entitled to it before you are married. Your body still belongs to God before you are married. Your future husband or wife will have power over your body someday. I had to wait a long time to get married and it was so often a very stressful and frustrating experience, and that is not the way to go through life. The best way is that you get married, enjoy companionship, enjoy all the sex you can have, learn how to be unselfish and forgiving, and live out your days in the very best life possible-married.
I decided when I was younger that I was going to follow the word of God, and back then I had no idea just how down to earth and practical the Bible was. It talked about sex, about relationships, about temptation about direction, about avoiding pitfalls. Many people today think that the gift of singleness in 1 Corinthians 7 is the condition or state or circumstance of still being single but I do not believe that or teach that here. I believe that is interpreted to mean that there are some people who do not need sex, they can live their whole life without sex and not be frustrated. To me that is truly an inexplicable and extraordinary gift! Who can do that? Some can; those with the gift of singleness. It’s essentially the ability to be single. That means, to live unmarried, where sex is allowed and even commanded. Commanded sex? Sounds good to me. Sign me up. Oh wait a minute, I already am.
I was not abstinent up until the day I got married. That actually makes surviving being single more difficult. I had to wait, well I chose to fight it out and survive by the grace of God, for a very long time before finally getting married. Yes, I did not give up!
I don’t know who is going to end up being impacted by this video/livestream. It may end up getting taken down, or maybe few will care. My message doesn’t appear to be getting through and I don’t know if that is due to the YouTube algorithm, viewer apathy or what. Maybe you really do need to have 1000 subscribers to get off the ground. If so, please subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea and share this channel with others in your circle of friends that may need to hear this-straight talk to men about marriage. Straight talk to men about marriage. If you are not married, what are you doing about that? Dying alone would be such a waste to me. I can do so much good for my wife and she responds to that good. She does so much good to me, and I respond to her.
People are so lonely these days and I think they were before covid hit. Whatever happened to getting married? I can see if someone has grown up without a family (mother and father) that they are not going to witness the grace of life, and too many times when they do have both parents, they do not witness love, so they can’t learn what it is. This channel is called Love Beyond The Sea and obviously the most pertinent word or idea of it is love. You will learn exactly what it is and how to express it.
John MacArthur-The Song of Solomon expands on the ancient marriage instructions of Gen. 2:24, thus providing spiritual music for a lifetime of marital harmony. It is given by God to demonstrate His intention for the romance and loveliness of marriage, the most precious of human relations and “the grace of life” (1 Pet. 3:7).
He also says this from an article I will link in the description box-Our entertainment-saturated society helps feed all sorts of illusions about reality. The fantasy of the perfect romantic and sexual relationship, the perfect lifestyle, and the perfect body all prove unattainable because the reality never lives up to the expectation.
The worst fallout comes in the marriage relationship. When two people can't live up to each other's expectations, they'll look for their fantasized satisfaction in the next relationship, the next experience, the next excitement. But that path leads only to self-destruction and emptiness.
Marriage is the capstone of the family, the building block of human civilization. A society that does not honor and protect marriage undermines its very existence. Why? Because one of God's designs for marriage is to show the next generation how a husband and wife demonstrate reciprocal, sacrificial love toward each other.
But when husbands and wives forsake that love, their marriage fails to be what God intended. When marriage fails, the whole family falls apart; when the family fails, the whole society suffers. And stories of societal suffering fill the headlines every day.
Now, more than ever before, is the time for Christians to declare and put on display what the Bible declares: God's standard for marriage and the family is the only standard that can produce meaning, happiness, and fulfillment. (end of quote)
Marriage should be the norm, not the exception. In my videos I talk about having realistic expectations, it isn’t always going to be a rose garden, you do have responsibilities and you do need someone to hold you accountable. Sex isn’t always going to be great, especially if you are lazy around the house, don’t know how to build up your wife and not much fun to be around.
You won’t find many channels that will talk to you straight about how to “demonstrate reciprocal, sacrificial love toward each other”. I have used various illustrations from our marriage. I never pursued dating, I pursued marriage. I think many guys believe that the goal is to get a girlfriend and date her perpetually. I think they need other men telling them to marry or get the heck out of her life. Dating is a poor substitute for marriage. Adam and Eve were created and married just like that. God was making a point back in Genesis, and that was that marriage is the norm, I would go so far to call it an expectation, that’s right, an expectation. Matthew 19:12 talks about three types of men who can live without a wife. Are you ready? Those who were made eunuchs by man, those who were born that way, and those men who can make themselves a eunuch for the sake of the kingdom of God.
I do not think that procreation is in view here because one of the principal reasons for marrying is sexual pleasure. God will determine if he wants anyone to NOT have children, but in the meanwhile, they do have a responsibility (debt) to give each other sexual satisfaction. God does not want anyone having any sex outside of marriage because he considers that sinful and since he is God, that’s his call, not ours.
Here is something about God’s standard for the family; BLM originally wanted to change the definition of family it appears- The Black Lives Matter organization's website appears to have removed a page that included disrupting “the Western-prescribed nuclear family structure” among its core principles.
I am of the opinion that it is the Biblical angle that was at the heart of this matter. Continuing from an article I will link-
Users who tried to access the now-deleted “What We Believe” page on Monday were prompted with: “Page Not Found … Sorry, but the page you were trying to view does not exist.”
The page, still viewable on the “Wayback Machine,” listed the group’s radical objectives for transforming society.
“We disrupt the Western-prescribed nuclear family structure requirement by supporting each other as extended families and ‘villages’ that collectively care for one another, especially our children, to the degree that mothers, parents, and children are comfortable,” one of those objectives reads.
The deleted page was first reported by The Washington Examiner.
The spotlight on some of BLM’s more controversial positions comes during a decline in support for the group. A Pew Research poll released last week showed that just over half of American adults, at 55%, support the group, down from a high of 67% in June, when the nation was reeling from the death of George Floyd, a Black man, in the custody of Minneapolis police officers.
Republicans have also pounced on the founders’ Marxist foundations. In a 2015 interview, co-founder Patrisse Cullors identifies herself and her fellow BLM co-founders as “trained Marxists.”
“I actually do think we have an ideological frame,” Cullors said. “We are trained Marxists.”
So now things are so bad with the family that some want to redefine what that is! I consider this lowering the bar, lowering the bar. You see it in various ways, now you see it with the family structure. As a Christian, that is a husband and a wife to start, then if God wills, which he often does, children. We should want to have children. I am dogmatic on this channel because the kind of truth I talk about is not a matter of opinion, it is a matter of biblical truth, biblical wisdom that at the moment fewer people seem to know about or care about.
The target for my channel is men who need to marry; men who need to be motivated or encouraged to keep trying to get married. I do not care if you marry a western woman or a Filipina like I did, just that you understand the culture is not your friend when it comes to sound wisdom and advice for relationships and marriage. Getting married is the responsible thing to do. I am very fond of this phrase-boys do what they want to do, men do what they need to do. Be a man, grow up, and get married.
You say, “but I want to be a man, I want to be mature, and I want to get married, but where am I supposed to find a suitable wife?” It may not be in your city, it might not be in your state, it might not be in your country. You have to pursue some imperfect person who will make you a good wife for the remaining quickly dissipating years of your life. Be mindful not to be unnecessarily picky. I got married in 54 days from across the world. I had wanted it bad for a long time and could have quit but winners never quit and quitters never win. It is more difficult these days, I want to tell you how it worked for me and you can work out what you need to do.
This video is called Make Marriage Great Again because what I am observing is an indifference and confusion about the importance of marriage. If this describes you, I am not being demeaning or critical. I recognize there are and always have been, dark spiritual forces that are trying to desecrate and destroy whatever God made that is good. God made the first man and before the day was over God made the first woman from the man, and made them married and commanded them to be fruitful and multiply. That hasn’t changed not matter how much the world has! I am going to keep beating that drum.
Singles in the U.S. - Statistics & Facts
Published by Statista Research Department, June 28, 2018
Since the 1960s, there has been an increasing number of singles and unmarried persons in the United States, the trend has continued and spread year after year. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the number of single-person households in the United States is increasing, while the average number of people per family has been declining slightly since the 1960s. Additionally, the numbers of single mothers and single fathers in the United States have been subsequently increasing. Today, about a third of Americans are single.
DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA HAS THE HIGHEST SHARE OF SINGLE-PERSON HOUSEHOLDS
NUMBER OF FAMILIES WITH A SINGLE MOTHER IN THE U.S.
NUMBER OF FAMILIES WITH A SINGLE FATHER IN THE U.S.
SINGLES IN LOVE
Share of Americans who are passionately in love
Share of respondents who are actively seeking a relationship
Share of Americans who want to get married
SINGLES AND SEX
Share of American singles who have sex on the first date
Share of respondents who have had a one-night-stand
Again-“Now, more than ever before, is the time for Christians to declare and put on display what the Bible declares: God's standard for marriage and the family is the only standard that can produce meaning, happiness, and fulfillment.” (end of quote)
I agree with this. This is the premise of my channel Love Beyond The Sea and podcasts on Casting Beyond the Sea that you can listen to on lvbts.com.
We know the Bible says in 1 Timothy 4:1-3
(English Standard Version)
4 Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons, 2 through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared, 3 who forbid marriage and require abstinence from foods that God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth.
The devil is doing all he can to make men and women think that marriage is not a wonderful thing to be pursued, to be engaged in. People just don’t realize it. Birth control, feminism, No fault divorce, gay marriage, open marriage, gender confusion, abortion are some of the things that prevent men and women from living life to the hilt, experiencing the best of life, which is marriage. You already know that no one is perfect and there are challenges in marriage, but it is nevertheless the best way to live-marriage God’s way. That’s what I talk about on Love Beyond The Sea.
https://www.gty.org/library/Articles/A203/Marriage-As-It-Was-Meant-to-Be
https://www.healthline.com/health/different-types-of-sexuality#takeaway
https://www.statista.com/topics/999/singles/
https://www.foxnews.com/us/blm-deletes-page-disruption-nuclear-family
