There have been several comments made by some that I take exception to about Filipinas. One is that you shouldn’t bring your Filipina wife to America because she will become “Americanized”, and another is that if you marry a Filipina and are going to live in the Philippines that you should live several islands away. I will link the first two videos in the description box. Please subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea where I do my best to provide help for a foreigner to have a good relationship with a Filipina, from on line communication help to living in harmony with her in marriage. Keep up with notifications by clicking the bell and leave comments here or in the Community Corner chat forums. This video is part of a playlist called “Expat trial run”.
The sentiment about living several islands apart from her family I am going to accept is not made tongue in cheek. Even if it is, I will show why I think it is best to live near her parents. We have built a house for us and her family that we will utilize when on vacation there and when we retire, which Lord willing, will be in the Philippines. There was never any thought given by either one of us to live in the Philippines a “safe” distance from her family. Why do some people say that would be a good idea?
That’s easy enough to recognize. The idea is that by living so far away from her family, her family would not be able to just drop in. If they don’t drop in, they are not going to be able to ask for monetary help. There might be the thought that they don’t want them to be over and eat all their food or play karaoke a lot. It isn’t that I can’t comprehend the logic in that, but I have a different view and that might come from the vantage point that I have being married to a Filipina since May 10 of 2015. If a foreign man has not been to the Philippines and isn’t married to a Filipina, it is easier to understand why they would want to live somewhere else in the Philippines.
There must be the belief that having her family drop in is a bad thing. I have met my wife’s family on three separate times now and frankly, need to get to know them better so if I were able to do that more frequently when living there, that is good for me and good for them. After all, we ARE a family. I married into her family and she married into mine. We ARE a family. I want to get to know them better and I’d like them to know me better.
Why is it a bad thing to be so close in proximity to her family? Is it the money? Retiring necessitates a better handle on money because the foreigner will be relying on other income like social security, pension, 401-K. With the Filipina not working overseas now, that will result in a lot less money being available to be used and the Filipina should not be shy about politely letting her family know things are not going to be the same way regarding helping with money as it once was. This is not going to be easy for her. I don’t see why as a couple they still couldn’t find a way to be of some help.
I know my wife wants to have a job when we retire. If that is in four years, she would be 35 years old. She wants to work but not have to do it twelve hours a day. That is something we have talked about but it would have to be something where she would be accessible to me while working, not like it is here in America where we might not see each other during the work day. Working in such a way would allow her to help her family. Even so, it is important for your Filipina to be able to let her family know that it is not possible for the help to be the same way it had been while working overseas. She should also encourage her siblings to work if they aren’t.
I even have a thought about how I might earn some money doing something fun but still work, that would be done on line. This I would be glad to use for her family, if this plan can be worked out. I won’t mention it here since I want to mention that in a different video about retirement.
Is it to maintain a level of privacy? This doesn’t seem to get a lot of talk, but since the Filipina’s family has been so important to her (something you know if you married a Filipina), your wife will probably want some family around. How many at a time, and how often, no one can tell right now until it happens. As a foreigner, the thought of retiring to a place, any place, is probably made with the assumption that there will be peace and quiet. I feel that way too, but I married a Filipina. I can’t marry a Filipina and expect her to be an American or a Russian or a German. If she is in the Philippines to stay, she will want things to be a lot like they always were before marrying the foreigner.
I think the problem the foreign man would come up against living in the Philippines, is his wife might not be as happy as if she was able to easily see her family. I am not suggesting you have to live across the street from your family in the Philippines, but I think she should be reasonably close to them. For those viewers who married to a Filipina and residing in the Philippines away from her family, I hope all is well and if so, please leave a comment about how you are managing that.
Is it having family over for karaoke? Karaoke can be heard about anywhere and I would love to join in karaoke the next time we’re there. Maybe I’m missing something but I would bet that given her choice, the Filipina would always want to be pretty close to home if she was to live with her husband in the Philippines. Let me know if you’ve had success either way.
If it simply doesn’t work out then we will go from there but I think having family right there will be good for me so I can have people to talk to. Like my wife in 2016, I will be in a foreign place and want to get to know people. I want to get to know her brothers especially and brother-in-law. I am sure this is quite unusual but who’s to say it won’t be better than living a long distance from her family?
Living close to and with her family is what I’ve decided to do with my Love Beyond the Sea.