Family & Lifestyle

The Surprising Way being Married has Blessed me Most

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Love Beyond The Sea began a few years after I married my Filipina wife in Davao City, Philippines in 2015. Being married to her has been a great blessing to me and resulted in wanting to make a YouTube channel that would encourage single men to consider marrying a woman from another country, even if they have to go thousands of miles away, like I did. As long as God allows me to, I want to show men that if you use some common sense and helpful tips from others like myself who married a Filipina, that they can still have the best years of their lives.

I also want you to know I would enjoy communicating with men from all over the world to encourage them in marriage to a woman from anywhere. The information in Love Beyond The Sea is not limited to foreigners and Filipinas, just watch some of the videos and you’ll see that. I invite you to participate in which is the website for Love Beyond The Sea; see the link at the top of the description box.

Can I identify the thing about being married to my wife that is the best? This blessing is comprised of other things that I wanted to experience from marriage and might well be described as the sum of the parts. I wanted to have companionship. It had been so long since I could just know I had someone to date consistently that I forgot what it was like. It seemed like an impossibility. With having a woman to be with as often as possible came other good things.

Being able to enjoy activities together, even experiences that were new to both of us. I wasn’t going to travel for pleasure by myself because it was always so difficult to do when I could see all the other couples around me doing something so seemingly normal, yet I felt like either no one could see me because I was invisible, insignificant, or that everyone could see me standing out like a sore thumb because I was alone, which was a strange feeling. Sometimes at restaurants I felt I was made to be alone by being seated in a corner by myself away from couples like I was a leper. We have traveled since she likes to do that, which has been good for me, and going to church is easy now, going anywhere is better now being able to be with her.

I wanted touch, although I only figured it would be something I‘d like and since getting married I know exactly how beneficial that is. The funny thing is that I hadn’t experienced much while alone for so long (30 years) but it seemed like it would be a good thing. Even in a relationship before this one I don’t have a lot of memories about just simply touch-hugging, kissing, massaging, holding hands, I just felt like it was one of the things I needed from a marriage. Showing love by touch is probably more important to me than my wife, and I say that because I absolutely love to touch her to show her how valuable she is to me.

Sometimes I wonder if I enjoy giving it more than I enjoy receiving it, which might have been the opposite of what I thought going into marriage. Growing up I didn’t witness a lot of touch for the sake of expressing affection, and we didn’t have pets growing up. I think touch is an easy way to express far more than words can say. If you are very tired you can touch to show you care. It can say a lot of things and can even be misunderstood just like words can be.

I massage my wife, stroke her hair, her cheeks, rub her shoulders and her back, and I like to sit close to her and have a hold of her when I sleep. In fact, she knows that is when I feel whole, complete, satisfied, relaxed, and peaceful. I have never researched touch or heard people talk about it or witnessed it all that much, but I sure like to deliver it. I just like that she is there by my side. My wife has responded by touching me at times, briefly, without saying a word, so I’d like to think she is reciprocating something to me that she likes to receive from me. Touch is a powerful love language. As important as touch is, I can still name something else as being the biggest blessing.

Then there is sexual intimacy which needs no explanation. That is a wonderful sensation by God’s design but sadly, as life goes on, the immense pleasure of that diminishes and if you live long enough, may gradually lose intensity until by age or disease, you can’t experience that. That is a distressing thought if you allow it to linger. Sex is a great blessing with your wife but has a shorter shelf-life so to speak than does affectionate touching, which can be given and received for much longer.

I told my wife before we were married what my needs were. I didn’t realize that my greatest pleasure or blessing would not be on my list of what I needed. In fact, the majority of my greatest blessing in marrying this amazing little woman from Davao City Philippines comes from what I give to her, rather than what I get from her. To be clear, I enjoy my wife to the hilt. I wouldn’t have this channel if I didn’t believe that she was making me a happy and satisfied man. But I still haven’t revealed what I perceive as the greatest blessing I have experienced marrying her, and it is something that every man can have.

My greatest blessing from getting married was not anticipated. I would describe it as purpose. Meaningful, satisfying, fulfilling purpose. We have all heard it is more blessed to give than to receive. That comes from the Bible in Acts 20:35. It is good to receive too and when it is done without strings attached, the giver will eventually be blessed themselves, in ways more satisfying than receiving is. That is a great motivation to be a giver.

Luke 6:38 says “Give and it shall be given unto you, good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over, will men give into your bosom (KJV). God blesses giving in eternity but the emphasis in this verse is here on earth, from other people, as a result of our generosity, even sacrifice, for them.

My greatest blessing from the union has been the satisfaction in knowing that I am doing all I can to give my wife the best life I can give her. It is ongoing and can’t stop. Why would I want to deprive myself by depriving my wife? With a Filipina usually comes the need to help her family and you should know that. How much to help and in which ways will need to be determined somehow between the two of you. I will get that out of the way first because it is easy to see this as an important way to help your wife, that will be rewarded, but there are others I’ve experienced.

I get great blessing from trying to build her up as much as I can. I get blessing from going to work for both of us. I receive blessing in trying things she likes to do like karaoke. I received blessing when I helped teach her to drive and to find friends for her. I get blessed when I try to communicate with her family.

Helping to set up her financial arrangements in the future is a blessing to me. My priorities in spending money are her first and us second. I am satisfied when I consider retiring in the Philippines with her, so she can be around her family and her friends. I am ok with giving up what I give up, because of the overwhelming satisfaction in treating her as well as possible and not just while I am alive. I will link a video in the description box about 4 concerns I have for her after my death.

My greatest blessing in marriage is in proportion to what I do for my wife. I believe her response is human nature and the promise of God. My wife has responded perhaps without thinking about it, to my love for her, by doing for me what she sees in our marriage that I need.

A man isn’t likely to marry a Filipina for what she can do for him financially as she may simply not be able to from where she is from. That may not be the case in another country. I have discovered that what my wife can give me is what I need most, and I can give her what she has needed most, while making her feel like the most special Filipina in the world. Loving this woman gives me much purpose, and having purpose has been the biggest blessing to me in our marriage.

I can only imagine what the rest of our lives will look like if I keep doing what’s best for my Love Beyond The Sea!

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