I have stressed to my wife to be totally honest with me as I will be totally honest with her. It helps that I am transparent anyway, but because I am, I also want my wife to be transparent with me. I am totally comfortable that way. I don’t want to deceive my wife, I want her to accept me for who I am, knowing that I want to improve my shortcomings so I can be a better husband over time. I don’t want her to think
I am someone I am not and I don’t want her to think she has to pretend to be someone else. My wife should be able to tell me anything that she has done or is thinking, feeling, believing or experiencing without being ashamed or afraid. We should be able to tell each other anything. This is the type of environment I feel I need to create for us. Part of this is that she should feel safe not agreeing with me about something, if she is uncomfortable. For instance, there are clothes I wish she would wear now and then because I like them. I expressed that to her but she isn’t comfortable for some reason, and I have to accept that.
I haven’t caught my wife in any lies or deception. She showed me a GPS thing on our phone the other day that we could use to tell where we each were. I like that idea. My wife is able to see all my emails and any social media I use, and will sometimes browse my Youtube channel videos and read comments. There are times she will peek at my Christian Filipina account to see who has made comments to me. I still have it because I want to do some work for them from time to time and communicate with members.
As she can see, almost every single woman commenting to me tells us congratulations on getting married and she hopes to find a loving man too. Another positive sign to me is that she has been consistent with her responses to questions before we got married. What she told me was the truth. We have gone through immigration and all that paperwork, where she had to disclose certain information, and it was as she told me beforehand what it was. I wanted to give her the chance to manage our finances if she wanted to but she just got an overview on what the budget looks like, how I update it, how to write checks and pay bills on line, and so on.
She was likely a little overwhelmed by it and was happy to let me continue to do it. Because I do, I can see everything she buys as she has her own account and also a joint account with me. It was my system before we married so I can understand her wanting to just let me continue to do it but I offered to let her if she wanted. I see all the receipts and all the transactions. If she has something she wants to do for her family that is more expensive than usual, she talks to me about it first. This shows that she believes she can trust me to hear her out and maybe I will agree to it. She doesn’t have to hide it from me or be ashamed to ask. If I feel it is outrageous then we would just take it from there.
There was one time when I did feel deceived and that was when she cut her hair, hair that I told her I loved long. To be fair, she had been telling me she wanted to try something shorter and I kept resisting. She said it was beginning to be uncomfortable at work under her hair net they have to wear. One night we were in the Philippines and she came home and woke me up to show me her shorter hair and I can’t repeat here what I said because of YouTube guidelines but I wasn’t happy. Remember, I have a video on not controlling your Filipina so I have to be consistent. I have to tell myself she is a woman and women tend to want to try different hairstyles, because they can. I have to admit it looks good on her and she might even appear a little younger, but having said that, and maybe I am just being selfish, but I really like long hair on a woman, especially on a Filipina! Beautiful, long, luscious hair on a woman can be hypnotizing, mesmerizing, tantalizing. Shorter hair can be cute too, so I am a bit divided, just so she looks feminine. True, she can always grow it out before shortening it again, but I was under the impression she wouldn’t pull the trigger and cut it until I was ready for her to do it. In the overall scheme of things is this that big of a deal?
Well, it was a good learning experience for both of us and a necessary part of learning how to live with each other. I hope that she felt she could cut it and I wouldn’t blast her for it. There is just something about lying in bed and seeing that long beautiful hair on the pillow… There are some statements she has made that I trust she is being honest with me. Such as: She wants a baby, but is content if I can’t give her one, she isn’t sure if she wants US citizenship, she won’t stay in America after I die if we don’t have a child, and if she thinks a family member needs help then she is telling the truth.
Can you see why I don’t worry about being lied to by my Love Beyond the Sea?