Marriage Advice

Generation Gap and the Younger Wife: Part 1

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Whether you would live in the Philippines or America, you should be prepared to talk about this if you want to have children. I don’t sense any outrage about this in the Philippines, but if you have strong feelings against this, I think you have to let her know, children or not. Can you imagine the friction if one parent thinks a child’s sex is obvious and the other parent thinks the child can choose what they want it to be? It is quite possible as a young Filipina, she grew up watching her mother take the financial responsibility and run the affairs of the house.

I have read that sometimes it is the mother who inflicts the greatest physical punishment or discipline on the child. When she is married to an older foreigner or even just dating him, all she knows is what she has observed about the family dynamic growing up in the Philippines. Energy level-Let’s get this one out of the way.

A younger woman is going to have already or eventually, more energy. What should she do with it? I think she should be encouraged to do what she finds fulfilling. If she isn’t already doing that, I would talk to her about what that might be. If I try to get her to spend an inappropriate amount of energy or time on me, that could lead to resentment. There will come a time in an age gap relationship, especially in marriage, where I will need my wife to naturally spend more time helping me manage in my later years.

Recently I went to buy some pizza and the young girl who worked there had some kind of thing in her upper or lower lip. Kind of like a nose ring for a lip. She was cute and didn’t need to do anything extra for her appearance but it made me wonder what I would think if I was interested in a Filipina who had her eyebrows pierced, a nose ring, something in her lip, some women even pierce their tongues. I could add tattoos to the list.

Some men might not care at all but for me, I wouldn’t like it but maybe would be ok if it was small, but then again, how can you guarantee she won’t get carried away and not be able to stop. If you are married to a younger Filipina, your sex life might not be the same as what she might hear her friends tossing around. As you age, it eventually won’t be what you want. This area has potential for conflict if the Filipina wants it more than he does. That might not be an issue if they were the same age. This isn’t going to be a big issue with some couples. As with anything else, it depends on the Filipina.

Ok, she might have different interests. That’s good as long as they don’t conflict with the possibility of having a long term committed relationship, which I consider marriage. Yes, I believe you can trust a Filipina who is much younger than you are. If her interests are not necessarily up your alley, no big deal, they are her interests and you have yours, they don’t have to be shared as much as respected. Talk about what interests her while dating and why they are interesting to her and try to understand her. Social media will almost assuredly be something a younger Filipina will be consumed with, at least that is likely how it will appear to the man who doesn’t share that same passion. It seems younger people everywhere have cell phones and computers and would find it very difficult to decrease its use.

Yes, this takes time out of your relationship but I think it needs to be allowed as long as it doesn’t become a problem. She is used to talking to her friends and family and that won’t stop. Hopefully the hours she calls them isn’t a problem between you since there is a sizable time zone difference.

Social media has also affected the younger generation today in the way they interact person to person, face to face. I think they are not learning like we used to, by having civil discussions about things they disagree on, because they often don’t do it face to face. It is much easier to disagree or avoid something by merely clicking a button.

People say things on line they wouldn’t say in person, this definitely could be something affecting the younger Filipina you want to be with.

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