Marriage Advice

My Jealousy In Our Fil-Am Marriage

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It has been said that Filipinas are very jealous of their men, and that’s a good thing! I’ve noticed that there are certain ways I exhibit jealousy towards my wife that are not a good thing. I wanted to tell you what they are because it is possible after you marry your Filipina you may have similar tendencies, so I wanted to warn you in advance. Since I had been alone for thirty years prior to marrying her, here are two things that I was jealous of that should not be surprising. 1-Jealous of her time. You might think that since I get to spend so much time with my wife that being jealous of her time would be the least of my concerns.

That isn’t always the case because when she first immigrated she used to spend a ton of time on Facebook, like maybe up to four hours a day, especially at night. Now, it is understandable that she wants to stay in contact with her family, and I want her to, but there are times when I ask myself why does it sometimes bother me? What I tell myself is that my marriage to her is unlike marrying someone from my own country, with the same nationality, culture, and age. It is only reasonable that she would want to hear the voice of her family and see them on Skype. It makes sense that she would message her friends too. She is so far from home that I must give her all the time she needs, also, I love her very much and want what is best for her. I want her to be happy. I remind myself how absolutely thrilled I am to wake up with her every day. If she wants to work more overtime than I’d like her to, she reminds me that she is a good cook, homemaker, and lover (all very true) and friend. She is a wife to me in the ways I needed her for, so I need to not be selfish, and give her plenty of space.

Jealous of her attention. Certainly, this has similarity to the first point but is maybe “the other side of the coin.” I assumed that when I drove her to work with me that we would talk during that 20+ minute drive and we do talk a little bit, but often she will check in with her family on Facebook while we are driving, especially to see her new niece. We both enjoy talking to her even though she can’t understand a word we say, but she is so cute and sweet. A Filipina isn’t just going to forget about her family when she is with me here in America. I don’t want to give her the impression that she should. My wife is not a morning person like I am and doesn’t talk nearly as much so it can be easy to interpret her silence as not being in touch with me on an emotional level or something but I don’t think that’s what it is. I might want her to be more talkative (to me) but that’s unfair to her. She is simply not as talkative as I am.

She is amazed at how much some of the guys at work talk and talk and talk. That’s about all there is with jealousy on my part, and I would bet you might feel the same way. I could be jealous of her youth or her intelligence or her skills but I am not, I am thrilled that she is my wife and my helper. She is an answer to long prayer. Speaking of jealousy, I know guys are jealous of me at work. They can see that Aiza is an amazing, beautiful woman with character and a pleasant personality. My wife probably would be jealous if someone else “liked me” and furious if I “liked” them. That won’t happen.

When you find the Filipina of your dreams you shouldn’t even be tempted to show interest in another woman. I can take my Filipina out of the Philippines, but I can’t take the Philippines out of my Filipina. It isn’t realistic of me to expect her to give me her attention all the time. She needs her own friends and interests. I think having unrealistic expectations of time and attention could lead to anger, which could lead to worse, so I must be thankful that I have a Filipina wife who makes my life so much better and leave it at that.

I am grateful for my Love Beyond The Sea!

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