I am going to put this in the Controversial Collection Playlist because I already know this won’t be popular. I want to focus on “really” in love, with the assumption a lifetime commitment is desired. Love isn’t a word to throw around loosely.
This can be very tricky. Sometimes a man will say anything just to get a woman for a fling then discard her. You’ve heard the phrase “silver tongued devil”? He could say he loves you and not mean a single word of it. Actions speak louder than words they say, so will a man’s actions reveal if he loves someone or not? Yes and No.
He could be doing some nice things with the goal of getting into her pants. In my opinion, this is what will happen if a man does NOT love a woman, he will try to seduce her in some way. You might say, “but what if I like him and I want him to seduce me”? That still doesn’t have anything to do with whether he loves you or not. Men don’t have sex outside of marriage because they love someone, they marry them instead.
A lot of negative things can happen when two people who are NOT committed to each other live as if they are. Unwanted pregnancy, unintended break ups often happen. I have told this to people’s faces in as kind a way as I could, that if some guy is sleeping with you then he doesn’t love you, so passion isn’t an indicator of love. It means he’s a man, not he’s in love with you. People have sex because they are human, it has nothing to do with love as far as valuing someone enough to give yourself away to them in marriage, and I’d hope that is the love people want to have.
Actions can reveal if a man loves a woman but they won’t be sexual. Instead of being selfish, they will be about whatever is for the good of the other person. If a woman wants to know if a man is really in love then she will see him propose to her all the while observing him being kind, helpful, available, patient and generous to name a few good qualities.
Men sleep with women for recreation and entertainment, not for love. If he says he loves you and you like him, ask him for a commitment in the form of marriage. You’ll have your answer. He may be surprised and say he hasn’t thought that far ahead yet. That’s okay, maybe he will love you someday. People toss around the word love so readily it has lost most of it’s meaning. Love always does what is best for someone else, no matter what the cost. Love is not like or infatuation, it’s a consistent, dedicated service for someone. Sex is just a cheap thrill.
I knew a woman once who would give her body away to her boyfriend who wasn’t foolish enough to marry for what he could get for free. She was a self-deluded person thinking he gave two craps about her. She wanted him to love her so bad but she got used real bad. She should have made him earn it by marrying her but she…oh well.
What I am getting at is not to say you love someone unless you are prepared to marry them. I think it makes sense that the man takes the first step by expressing how he feels for a woman, not the other way around. It is pointless any other way.
Some guys will tell a Filipina he loves her or some other crap and hasn’t seen her yet. He’ll get around to it some day maybe. Some Filipinas will tell a man she loves him and know little about him. I don’t think a man should say he loves a woman until he is ready to back it up.
I just don’t see this as complicated. The question I am trying to answer is “How do you know if a man is really in love (with you)?” I think authentic love is displayed by marrying each other, then serving each other and you don’t have to be 30 or 40 years old to marry someone and start loving each other. It’s a great way to live.
There will be less controversial questions for me to answer in the future. I think people should get married, and the sooner the better, but that’s where the love really starts. The love that proves itself in day to day life, and it isn’t easy. The love that you have to choose to do and some days you won’t feel like it.
That’s my answer and I’m sticking to it. Comments are welcome. Dr. PHILippines doesn’t dodge the tough questions and maybe he shouldn’t even ask them, but what fun would that be?