Marriage Advice

How I Avoid An Imbalance of Power in an Age Gap Marriage

published on

One of the objections to an age gap marriage I have heard is that there will inevitably be an imbalance of power, that the husband will assert some unrealistic authority over the wife. Many men seek a younger Filipina and I am married to one and I believe it is important to tackle this today.

I will talk about some uncomfortable but necessary topics that have to do with a foreigner and Filipina relationship because I want you to have a great one. It’s all about having the right perspective. The husband is the head of the wife the Bible tells us. This means he is responsible for her well-being before God, to meet her needs, to protect her, to nourish her spiritually, to help her have a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ. He is to regard her as better than himself (a general biblical principle for all people), and selflessly seek to do good to her. This alone should squash an attitude of superiority.

The husband is the leader, the influencer of his wife and family. The husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and give up his life for her. Does this sound like an imbalance of power? Why can’t it be good enough that an older foreigner has married a younger Filipina and feels like he just won the lottery and not try to assert inordinate power over her?

It really doesn’t matter if there is an age gap or not. The best marriages don’t split things 50/50 and they don’t demand their own rights. What they do is want the best for each other and are willing to make some sacrifices for that to happen. There are different roles, in fact the Bible says we ought to regard others as better than ourselves. It is essentially selfishness that causes this imbalance of power.

Be unselfish and considerate of your younger Filipina, count your blessings and reap the rewards that only marriage can bring.

I am not any better than my Love Beyond The Sea.

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