It is probably not fair to think we know exactly what it feels like for a Filipina to move thousands of miles from home to live with someone she may have only gotten to know through a web cam and messaging. She may or may not believe that going to a foreign country to live with her husband is the greatest thing in the world.
She may not relish the thought of moving so far away from all the people and family she has ever known. I was thinking the other day that, even though the family bond is so very strong in many cases, making it so difficult to move away, but since this is so, there is something that can help her in her transition. She is going to get homesick, but if she is able to Skype with family and friends back home, that helps a lot.
When I have observed my wife doing that, she seems engaged and happy as I look at her pretty face while she is talking to them. Help her to meet people and families she can become friends with, and church is a good place to start. People in my life have embraced my wife. I am so happy they think highly of her spiritually. It is important to me that she is with women who can help her grow and that someday she will be able to be a positive influence on a younger woman. Actually, she has been very good for my mother.
I feel like she has received a new lease on life. My mom is 85 and adores my wife, and enjoys spending time shopping with her and having dinner together. It is good to pray for her to find fulfilling and satisfying activity. This may or may not be work. She needs people to befriend her and show her love, which is where your church comes in. You might be surprised how much they want to make her feel at home. A younger lady at church organized a welcome shower for my wife (she had about 45 gifts!).
My wife was thrilled to go to Target and register for gifts. I am thrilled she is finding women of different ages to associate with. My wife also likes to cut and trim the grass and hand wash the cars. My wife has always wanted to have a job since she has been in America and started at a temporary agency that others at work have utilized. She has been permanent for over a year with two pay increases! She has been working 40-60 hours a week. I can’t imagine how she would have done here without work. Since I am still working I didn’t want her to be home alone and offered that she could use that time to meet people but she preferred to work.
God has answered my prayer for a social life, mostly through church, but she does like quite a few of her coworkers. I have told her she already had more friends after seven weeks here than I have. She said that was because I was so unfriendly hahaha. I didn’t realize she had such a sense of humor. Something else that can help her deal with homesickness is your praise of her character and of the things she does for you. For example, I try to remind my wife how virtuous she is and describe what those virtues are-her quality housekeeping without complaining since she believes this IS her responsibility (I help sometimes). I tell her how nice our house looks and since she has started to nest here, how much she has made it feel like a home to me. She loves children, she cooks everything, she likes to help others and so on.
I tell her I appreciate those things. She might do this on her own but another thing I did was to play Tagalog love songs on our computer and let it roll for a couple of hours. Now she does that herself. If my wife enjoys something, I want to be a part of it too. I often marvel how my wife could decide so soon to marry me. She must have at least known that eventually she would be flying to the other side of the world without any idea when or if she would return to the Philippines. This amazing act of devotion makes me continually want to treat her well and put her first. About all I want to do is make her happy, build her self-esteem, help her with relationships, and give her a better life and a lot of love. I Love her so much.
I would never in a million years go that far away from my family and friends, yet she has done that for me, yet she knows that emotionally it will be hard for her for a while. Please don’t take it personally when she is homesick, all you can do is pray for her and help her as much as you can, but this is just something she will have to work through.
It is possible she might not have really fully thought through what experiencing it would be like since she has been focused on getting married to you if you are married to a Filipina. This is an opportunity for you to pray to God to help you give her much love and build her up with your words. It will pay dividends the rest of your life.
Marrying a Filipina is a special opportunity. Be patient with your Love Beyond The Sea.
